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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 390618" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Welcome. </p><p></p><p>First, some urgent advice - do not use real names here. You need anonymity if not now, then maybe later on. It's also a lot easier to vent about family; school; child; teachers doctors if you have not put in signposts for them to find what you've written.</p><p></p><p>Now, to help - it's good that the current school see through him. You are right to be concerned. His behaviour could be the product of the mess his life has been so far (including an enabling father) or it could be something else, something difficult to deal with.</p><p></p><p>You are a step-parent, which greatly limits what you can do. Technically, you shouldn't be doing anything, it should be his father dealing with all this. He needs to be kept well-informed and in the loop or when things get tight, he will excuse his son again and move him on. So the kid learns that there are no consequences and you can always escape your responsibilities.</p><p></p><p>As a start, I would talk to the school and especially the Behaviour Team. Ask their advice and then follow it.</p><p></p><p>As for people here being able to advise you on support groups in Brisbane - sorry, I'm one of the few Aussies and I'm in Sydney anyway. But here again, the behaviour team could help. Also try calling any support links in your area. The major public hospitals are worth a try - ask for their Pediatric Mental Health Team and ask them for advice. If they are no go (or there isn't one) then do you have LifeLine in Queensland? I've had good advice from them when I've rung in desperation. There is no shame in calling LifeLine, but they do tend to snap into counsellor mode until you say, "I need practical advice on finding an appropriate support network in our area."</p><p></p><p>Anyway, welcome to the site. We do have a wide range of issues here, not all will match your situation. But there are other step-parents here with similar problems, so you are in good company.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 390618, member: 1991"] Welcome. First, some urgent advice - do not use real names here. You need anonymity if not now, then maybe later on. It's also a lot easier to vent about family; school; child; teachers doctors if you have not put in signposts for them to find what you've written. Now, to help - it's good that the current school see through him. You are right to be concerned. His behaviour could be the product of the mess his life has been so far (including an enabling father) or it could be something else, something difficult to deal with. You are a step-parent, which greatly limits what you can do. Technically, you shouldn't be doing anything, it should be his father dealing with all this. He needs to be kept well-informed and in the loop or when things get tight, he will excuse his son again and move him on. So the kid learns that there are no consequences and you can always escape your responsibilities. As a start, I would talk to the school and especially the Behaviour Team. Ask their advice and then follow it. As for people here being able to advise you on support groups in Brisbane - sorry, I'm one of the few Aussies and I'm in Sydney anyway. But here again, the behaviour team could help. Also try calling any support links in your area. The major public hospitals are worth a try - ask for their Pediatric Mental Health Team and ask them for advice. If they are no go (or there isn't one) then do you have LifeLine in Queensland? I've had good advice from them when I've rung in desperation. There is no shame in calling LifeLine, but they do tend to snap into counsellor mode until you say, "I need practical advice on finding an appropriate support network in our area." Anyway, welcome to the site. We do have a wide range of issues here, not all will match your situation. But there are other step-parents here with similar problems, so you are in good company. Marg [/QUOTE]
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