I dont think there is a right or wrong answer to this question. It is very heartbreaking and difficult to tell your child that they cannot live in your home when they are so young... and often when they leave things will get worse before they get better. The reality is that with addiction we all worry about the worst happening to them. That being said sometimes not having them come home is the best choice for you and for your family. Only you can decide what is your best choice right now.
We did kick my son out when he was 18 and really it was the best choice at the time... to me felt in many ways like the only reasonable choice. He was flagrantly violating all of our rules and we had a younger child to protect from the chaos. And things did get worse for a while....he was homeless for several months across the country in the dead of winter.
We always took the stand we will help you when you are wanting help.... and we wont when you are using etc.
Eventually the system ended up helping... he was arrested on several warrants and is now in a long term residential rehab and has actually stayed there for 6 months! I dont really know how serious he is about long term recovery but he is serious about finishing what he needs to do for the courts which means he will be there another few months.
I do think what the others said is vital. You need to take care of yourself and find a good support system for you. I have found the alanon group for parents I go to to be an absolute life saver. It has been what has gotten me through the really awful times. Just knowing other people who understand what it is like to have a child with addiction problems has been comforting.
Welcome to the board and keep posting.
TL
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