Hi Lisa,
Hello and welcome, you are among friends, and all of us know what it is like to have children who cannot or will not comply with the basics of life.
Before I say anything else, I'd like to suggest that you send a private message to Runaway Bunny in order to change your username to something anonymous. This is an online forum and our posts can be seen by anyone - they can't post unless registered, but anyone can read - so to protect your confidentiality I would change your username.
Your situation is unique because you have already dealt with having your son removed from the home, placed in residential, and involved with the juvenile justice system, yet nothing seems to help. What an awful situation.
You do have other children as well as your own health and that of your boyfriend to consider. You have already moved mountains to help your 15 year old, yet he does not improve - through no fault of your own, he is just that sick.
How in the world did he get released from residential displaying all of these behaviors? Was he thrown out? If he has violated his probation numerous times, why is he not in jail?
In any case, if this was my situation I would work through the legal system to sadly, give up his custody to the state. They will find him a placement in a therapeutic foster home or perhaps another residential setting. From what you describe he may even require some time in a juvenile jail. There is no way this child can live safely in a family. He is very sick and needs a highly structured setting in order to avoid acting out.
Keep posting, we get it!
