Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Help
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 752340" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Good to deny him use of car. You can get a house phone with local service for $29 a month plus taxes, or at least it was this about a year ago. I did it. That would be with ATT. Tmobile also has a type of house phone for way cheap. Like $10 a month. Or at least they did a year ago. If I have time I will look for it.</p><p>I have been posting on this forum four and a half years. I will just tell you what I think.</p><p></p><p>Lots of times a parent will tolerate bad behavior of a child with the justification that the child is in college. Like drug use, for example. I feel this is always a bad idea. To put the child's life at risk in order that they be in college. To me, this is a misplaced priority. Your child uses only marijuana. To me, that's bad enough. But of course it's better than hard drugs. So. For now let's put that aside. The thing that really concerns me is his disrespect and abuse of you and his Dad. This is not the first time a parent has posted in your situation.</p><p></p><p>This is only my opinion, but why would you continue to support his progress in life, if he is behaving in such an unacceptable way towards you? It's not that he deserves to be punished or that your support be withheld. It's that this behavior is so completely unacceptable, not to mention potentially criminal. If he's manhandling you and/or his Dad. I don't understand how this does not flash RED ALERT.</p><p></p><p>I believe that being a good person, acting within socially acceptable bounds, showing respect and self-respect are a million times more important than completing a vocational program. He has plenty of time to do that. But getting a grip on this really, really troublesome behavior--to me, this is the priority.</p><p></p><p>You are valuable and deserve care and respect. Your home, serenity and security there, is important. Who is this person, your son, who can violate that, and you would accept that?</p><p></p><p>I am not judging you. I am trying to support you to STOP him. He should not be doing this. To you or anybody.</p><p></p><p>PS</p><p>T-Mobile® Line Link phone adapter</p><p></p><p></p><p style="text-align: left"><span style="color: rgb(20, 20, 20)"><span style="font-size: 15px">This of course is one strategy, turning a blind eye.Trying to not engage with him. If he only aggresses when you confront him, one way to approach him would be to not engage. It sounds like confrontation is a trigger to him. He is close enough to 18 where you could try to just ride this out.</span></span></p> <p style="text-align: left"><span style="color: rgb(20, 20, 20)"></span></p> <p style="text-align: left"><span style="color: rgb(20, 20, 20)"><span style="font-size: 15px">If you feel you have ruled out any danger to himself and to others, I guess you could do it this way. Just avoid "seeing" what he's doing. And hoping that he has the self-control and judgment to avoid getting into trouble; while keeping cars from him and supervising him more, and giving him a shorter leash until he is emancipated at 18.</span></span></p> <p style="text-align: left"><span style="color: rgb(20, 20, 20)"></span></p> <p style="text-align: left"><span style="color: rgb(20, 20, 20)"><span style="font-size: 15px">If you feel confident that he is okay, you could do this, I guess, hoping that if you stay out of his lane, out of the way he will not aggress against you, physically or verbally. It's really up to you. </span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 752340, member: 18958"] Good to deny him use of car. You can get a house phone with local service for $29 a month plus taxes, or at least it was this about a year ago. I did it. That would be with ATT. Tmobile also has a type of house phone for way cheap. Like $10 a month. Or at least they did a year ago. If I have time I will look for it. I have been posting on this forum four and a half years. I will just tell you what I think. Lots of times a parent will tolerate bad behavior of a child with the justification that the child is in college. Like drug use, for example. I feel this is always a bad idea. To put the child's life at risk in order that they be in college. To me, this is a misplaced priority. Your child uses only marijuana. To me, that's bad enough. But of course it's better than hard drugs. So. For now let's put that aside. The thing that really concerns me is his disrespect and abuse of you and his Dad. This is not the first time a parent has posted in your situation. This is only my opinion, but why would you continue to support his progress in life, if he is behaving in such an unacceptable way towards you? It's not that he deserves to be punished or that your support be withheld. It's that this behavior is so completely unacceptable, not to mention potentially criminal. If he's manhandling you and/or his Dad. I don't understand how this does not flash RED ALERT. I believe that being a good person, acting within socially acceptable bounds, showing respect and self-respect are a million times more important than completing a vocational program. He has plenty of time to do that. But getting a grip on this really, really troublesome behavior--to me, this is the priority. You are valuable and deserve care and respect. Your home, serenity and security there, is important. Who is this person, your son, who can violate that, and you would accept that? I am not judging you. I am trying to support you to STOP him. He should not be doing this. To you or anybody. PS T-Mobile® Line Link phone adapter [LEFT][COLOR=rgb(20, 20, 20)][SIZE=4]This of course is one strategy, turning a blind eye.Trying to not engage with him. If he only aggresses when you confront him, one way to approach him would be to not engage. It sounds like confrontation is a trigger to him. He is close enough to 18 where you could try to just ride this out.[/SIZE] [SIZE=4]If you feel you have ruled out any danger to himself and to others, I guess you could do it this way. Just avoid "seeing" what he's doing. And hoping that he has the self-control and judgment to avoid getting into trouble; while keeping cars from him and supervising him more, and giving him a shorter leash until he is emancipated at 18.[/SIZE] [SIZE=4]If you feel confident that he is okay, you could do this, I guess, hoping that if you stay out of his lane, out of the way he will not aggress against you, physically or verbally. It's really up to you. [/SIZE][/COLOR][/LEFT] [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Help
Top