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Here is my Story... I am sorry so long...
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<blockquote data-quote="nvts" data-source="post: 103990" data-attributes="member: 3814"><p>Hi David! Welcome to the crowd! I can't say how sorry I am for the pain that you must be experiencing. </p><p></p><p>Ditto to what the others said regarding depression. Make an appointment for a psychiatrist and let them know that you believe you're suffering from depression when you make the appointment. You don't want to go on a waiting list! </p><p></p><p>As far as "failing your son". Failing your son would have been one of 2 things. Fighting the system so that he could just "slide through" and not take responsibility OR ignoring the problem. You have a lot to be proud of. You took the toughest road that ANY GOOD DAD could take: you sent your son off to a place that might be able to help him. This had to be torturous for you - failing your son would have been you putting your feelings ahead of his well being. You have much to be proud of in the dad department. </p><p></p><p>That being said: once your guy gets through his program, he doesn't need to come home to dad sleeping it off on the couch. You need to get some help and start preparing for his arrival. This means that you have to:</p><p></p><p>1. set up a support system. You need to have plans for where he will go to school, know what type of therapy you want to have him in, a neuropsychologist scheduled (if not already done at the facility) to determine what his diagnosis should be, and a strong, loving compassionate man who can be a "dad" to him.</p><p></p><p>2. have a job. It seems to me that you will feel a lot better about yourself if you have some sort of position that allows you to feel valuable</p><p></p><p>3. STOP CUSSING! (that's the Mom in me!) It's not helped you and it's not helped your son. Now knock it off, or you're going to have to put $1.00 in the poor box at church every time you say one! :angel:</p><p></p><p>Remember: cussing displays one's ignorance. An intelligent person can express themselves eloquently while swearing in the back of their mind! </p><p></p><p>4. Take a step back and look at the decisions you've made. Allowing him to have contact with his mom was compassionate and kind. Don't beat yourself up about the decision unless you have access to a time machine that'll allow you to correct it. Otherwise, learn from your decision and move on. </p><p></p><p>If kids came with an instruction manual, and we didn't follow it, then we messed up. But they don't and we didn't so the point is invalid. We're all shooting from the hip - with kids that are different from the rest of the general population!</p><p></p><p>Sorry I got so wordy, but you really needed a great group of friends and now you've got one! </p><p></p><p>Welcome!</p><p></p><p>Beth</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="nvts, post: 103990, member: 3814"] Hi David! Welcome to the crowd! I can't say how sorry I am for the pain that you must be experiencing. Ditto to what the others said regarding depression. Make an appointment for a psychiatrist and let them know that you believe you're suffering from depression when you make the appointment. You don't want to go on a waiting list! As far as "failing your son". Failing your son would have been one of 2 things. Fighting the system so that he could just "slide through" and not take responsibility OR ignoring the problem. You have a lot to be proud of. You took the toughest road that ANY GOOD DAD could take: you sent your son off to a place that might be able to help him. This had to be torturous for you - failing your son would have been you putting your feelings ahead of his well being. You have much to be proud of in the dad department. That being said: once your guy gets through his program, he doesn't need to come home to dad sleeping it off on the couch. You need to get some help and start preparing for his arrival. This means that you have to: 1. set up a support system. You need to have plans for where he will go to school, know what type of therapy you want to have him in, a neuropsychologist scheduled (if not already done at the facility) to determine what his diagnosis should be, and a strong, loving compassionate man who can be a "dad" to him. 2. have a job. It seems to me that you will feel a lot better about yourself if you have some sort of position that allows you to feel valuable 3. STOP CUSSING! (that's the Mom in me!) It's not helped you and it's not helped your son. Now knock it off, or you're going to have to put $1.00 in the poor box at church every time you say one! [img]:angel:[/img] Remember: cussing displays one's ignorance. An intelligent person can express themselves eloquently while swearing in the back of their mind! 4. Take a step back and look at the decisions you've made. Allowing him to have contact with his mom was compassionate and kind. Don't beat yourself up about the decision unless you have access to a time machine that'll allow you to correct it. Otherwise, learn from your decision and move on. If kids came with an instruction manual, and we didn't follow it, then we messed up. But they don't and we didn't so the point is invalid. We're all shooting from the hip - with kids that are different from the rest of the general population! Sorry I got so wordy, but you really needed a great group of friends and now you've got one! Welcome! Beth [/QUOTE]
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