Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by guest3, Jun 22, 2007.
not sure why this did not post, see below
ok no one knows what they're f r e a k i n doing at these places!!!
I have been making calls out the wing wang, day 2 of doing so!
I called Value Options & CMO direct and talked to the highest person available at both, because I am done dealing with ignorant people!
Both people said difficult child II is eligible for CMO benefits and can't understand why in home therapist would tell me the load of Krap she did, of course this is the info her supervisor told her, so I don't totally blame her! It just seems no one knows what the heck they're doing!
Meanwhile d/h (dry for 5 day now and nasty as ever) has no patience for difficult child II and is very bitter towards him saying he's going to bankrupt us.
And difficult child I has decided now is a good time to revolt back to being rebellious and nasty as ever, and is refusing to get a job (he still has $1600.00 restitution bill to pay from graffiti spree) but he figures I have been making the payments so why should he rush to pay me back. And the &^&^%%$^* spray painted his desk and wall in closet, can we say ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh?
Tell us again......did you have a bad day???????????
Just kidding!!!!! I hear ya and I wish there were words of wisdom I could give you. I, too, get sooooo tired of working (or trying) with people who have no clue what they're talking about. It's the biggest waste of time. Glad you decided to go to the top!
Just try to document every step of the way and accept right now that it will not be easy. That might make it easier to take.
As for husband - I am sure GFGII does not need to hear anything bad about $$ right now.
I can only imagine the stress you are under. Hang in there - it will get better!
On the bright side at least husband is not drinking????
Och! Sorry. I know dealing with ins. co's is the pits. Keep plugging along. It took me 6 months of fighting with ins co. to pay for surgery for Mighty Mouse. I hate dealing with them!
I don't even know what CMO is, so I have no idea what advice to give, but I know I have arms and I wanted to let you know I'm giving you BIG virtual hugs!!!!! Sounds like you really need them!
I hear you there. Anything other than the basics, the insurance people do not know what to do. They don't get paid squat, sad to say.
In good conscience, I have to advise you to not pay anymore fines for him. He's only 16, so he won't end up in jail. It may (or may not) assist in getting the court to light a fire under the insurance company for placement or treatment. But you didn't do the crime, you shouldn't pay the fine.
I too was thinking to not pay the restitution payts. tell him so.
you should let whatever happens to him as a result, happen. he made the trouble he needs to feel the burn. he can work.
husband is good to be sober, but you should not have to be punished for it. get out of the house as much as possible and let him stew alone.
CMO = crisis management organization = they pay for anything mental health related that the insurance won't for difficult child II
People with no insurance obviously have an easier time getting it, but insurance in NJ stinks and covers very little. So the bright news is 1st insurance girl misinformed me in telling me day program comes out of out patient visits. It actually comes out of inpatient visits. difficult child II was in hospital for 9 days, we have 20 per year, 1 inpatient day = 3 day program days, so 11 x 3 = 33 days at 80% coverage, which is better then nothing. I am hoping to get the $315.00 a day program vs the $1000.00 a day program.
We will see
When you said your husband was dry, you said a mouthful.
He is NOT sober. There is a difference. He needs to get to AA. IF he has lived for a period of time, using alcohol to escape reality, and he suddenly just stops drinking, the hard truth is, he still has not learned how to deal with reality WITHOUT the alcohol. He is what they call a dry drunk. He is acting as horrible without the booze as he would be if he were on it.
Alcoholism is a disease. Drinking is only a symptom of it. He has a lot of issues that he needs to address. He NEEDS to go to AA or he will never address them. If he continues in this manner, first of all, what kind of role model is he setting for your son? Your son has no chance of getting better in that environment. Also, it won't be long before your DEX says " it" and goes back to drinking. Old habits are easier to revert to UNTIL and UNLESS he learns a new way of behaving. The other hard truth is, he will NOT go to AA if he does not believe he needs it. He has to hit bottom first.
One last thing. Stop paying your son's fines. You are enabling both him and your dex. I am sorry if that is harsh, but you are.
Many hugs and prayers to you and your family.
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