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<blockquote data-quote="CrazyinVA" data-source="post: 251755" data-attributes="member: 1157"><p>I was (am) a single parent, with TWO difficult children. Yeah, it's incredibly stressful. Yeah, being a single parent makes it doubly so. Especially when there is NO extended family to help, whatsoever (I'm in that same boat with you, too). Family therapy is helpful, was helpful for us. Leanring to deal withyour own stress over your difficult child's actions is crucial that's for sure. But, that doesn't make it your "fault," nor does it mean that your stress caused the problem (although admittedly, I could see where my stress contributed to the problem.. at least, made it harder for things to get better. By not dealing with my own stress and reactions to my difficult children, it made it doubly hard to deal with a difficult child in full crisis mode. The old "if you don't take care of yourself, you can't take care of anyone else." But you are getting therapy for yourself, and they can't ignore that completely. Perhaps semi-agreeing with them (it throws them off when you do that) by saying "yup, you're right, I'm stressed out ... and I'm doing the best I can to take care of myself by getting my own therapy while I deal with all of this.. thanks for your concern... " yada yada. </p><p></p><p>I know it's hard not to take it personally when they come back at you with comments like that. I hear you on thinking that's what the other "powers that be" sometimes think it's the parent's fault. It's up to us to prove them wrong, simply by continuing to be great advocates, eduating ourselves about the psychiatric issues and the system, and remaining as steady and cool as possible when dealing with the idiots ... man, that took a lot of practice fo rme. That doesn't mean I didn't get ticked off at someone and show it, when necessary (the director of social services for my county will NEVER forget me, I am sure of that... lol)</p><p></p><p>I think you're doing well in explaining your feelings about the test, and asking for it to be adminstered a certain way. The courts aren't used to parents who are so well-versed in psychiatric tests, that's for sure, so it wouldn't occur to them to do it any other way. But hey, they can learn something too. </p><p></p><p>HUGS. You're doing great.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CrazyinVA, post: 251755, member: 1157"] I was (am) a single parent, with TWO difficult children. Yeah, it's incredibly stressful. Yeah, being a single parent makes it doubly so. Especially when there is NO extended family to help, whatsoever (I'm in that same boat with you, too). Family therapy is helpful, was helpful for us. Leanring to deal withyour own stress over your difficult child's actions is crucial that's for sure. But, that doesn't make it your "fault," nor does it mean that your stress caused the problem (although admittedly, I could see where my stress contributed to the problem.. at least, made it harder for things to get better. By not dealing with my own stress and reactions to my difficult children, it made it doubly hard to deal with a difficult child in full crisis mode. The old "if you don't take care of yourself, you can't take care of anyone else." But you are getting therapy for yourself, and they can't ignore that completely. Perhaps semi-agreeing with them (it throws them off when you do that) by saying "yup, you're right, I'm stressed out ... and I'm doing the best I can to take care of myself by getting my own therapy while I deal with all of this.. thanks for your concern... " yada yada. I know it's hard not to take it personally when they come back at you with comments like that. I hear you on thinking that's what the other "powers that be" sometimes think it's the parent's fault. It's up to us to prove them wrong, simply by continuing to be great advocates, eduating ourselves about the psychiatric issues and the system, and remaining as steady and cool as possible when dealing with the idiots ... man, that took a lot of practice fo rme. That doesn't mean I didn't get ticked off at someone and show it, when necessary (the director of social services for my county will NEVER forget me, I am sure of that... lol) I think you're doing well in explaining your feelings about the test, and asking for it to be adminstered a certain way. The courts aren't used to parents who are so well-versed in psychiatric tests, that's for sure, so it wouldn't occur to them to do it any other way. But hey, they can learn something too. HUGS. You're doing great. [/QUOTE]
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