Today, difficult child's treatment team informed me that the only thing they thought would come from me have a psychiatric evaluation was the need for family therapy because it's appears to them that I am just having trouble being a single parent and there seems to be a problem with the stresses I'm dealing with as a result of difficult child trying to grow up. They said this was causing a big problem with difficult child but that difficult child was willing and wanted to work on our relationship. Geez- if I'd only known that my stress was just due to being a single parent in spite of the fact that I've always been a single parent and we had no major issues until my son was nearly 11yo, and if I had known that my stress had nothing to do with the fact that my son had nearly caught himself on fire, has broken the law numerous times, was bolting out of the house at night and would leap out in front of my moving car when I'd go look for him, destroyed our house, self-injures, has to spend countless hours with mental health profs and in the courthouse leaving me no way to work full time and thus no way to cover bills, can't be left unsupervised or he does these things again, steals from me, has no friends because they ostracized him, is light years behind in school because he didn't go, whipped a knife out on me twice, has wiped me out financially dealing with all this, and will be sent to live someplace that I strongly believe will lead to my son being molested if I don't buy into this and commit to more countless hours with tdocs, psychiatrists, and a probation officer, while bills go unpaid, difficult child does what he wants, and we live in a house that depresses us both- I guess the problem could have been solved a long time ago if I just had dealt with my stress of being a single parent and let difficult child grow up. This came up after I told them I wasn't confortable with a psychiatric evaluation on me to see how I might be contributing to difficult child's problems consisting only of a written personality test to see where I deviate from the statistical norm by a psychiatric who knew nothing of me other than what he/she's been informed of by a person that had already made it clear that he thought I was the source of the problem. I asked if they did assessments on parents because I thought the assessment needed to be by someone who knew us both if it was to see how I'm effecting him and that it needed to be an adequate and thorough assessment. I told them I was more than willing to do that and that I had no problem seeing a therapist or going to family therapy if difficult child's is out of the home where I don't have to worry about him coming home to whip another knife out on me. They said they don't do assessments on parents there. They had previously said that they would probably be doing family therapy with us and asked if I was willing to do that and I said yes, but they have never brought it up again. I found it a little difficult to repsond to that synopsis of the problem. I tried, a little, but found myself starting to sound defensive so I stopped. I just left it like I would try to work things out with my son and asked that they convey their recommendations to the gal first-hand because no one seemed to be willing to listen or believe what I had to say. Then they asked if I was going to continue visiting difficult child. (Like I have ever stopped visiting him.) I told them yes. Ok, they want me to let him grow up. When he gets himself out of the legal trouble that he got himself into, when I am comfortable that he can and will live in my house without stealing from me or threatening me- in any way- and that he will do his best to follow house rules, comply with the law, and do his best in school, he can come back home. Now, what are they going to do to ensure that the home they send him to is better than the one he came from? I don't know who I'm angrier at. difficult child knows he's drained me dry and the last time I saw him, he had the attitude that he would just go live with my half-bro until I got all this back in order, then he'd come home. (He doesn't know of the risk there.) Personally, I feel like the more these people buy into that, the less likely it ever is that difficult child will grow up and the more likely it is that he will have explosions (either violent or illegal activity) any time he can't change others to be who he wants them to be.