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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 252119" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>Thank you. I've already been in contact with the first three- they don't/can't help with our situation. You'd be surprised at the people who still don't want to get involved once a kid has been "hooked" by Department of Juvenile Justice. I haven't tried the last two.</p><p></p><p>Where does it come from- the only thing I can figure is my bro calling around trying to get custody a couple of years ago and putting seeds of doubt in all these people's minds that because I've been to therapy in my past, I am ruining my child, plus a gal who "protects" the child by laying blame on the parent (yes, I do think that's her way), and therapist's and psychiatrist's that don't know what to do other than what they do. I've had more than one end up throwing their arms up in the air, aloong with a PO who just says I'm over protective and instead of people asking specificaly what she's basing that on, they just take her word. Add all that together with a kid who isn't "cured" yet, and well, it must be me. People ASSUME that if a parents' family isn't backing them, something must be wrong with the parent. The PO always acted like she had an attitude toward me. I'd heard from others- even legal people- that it's her personality. But after I testified about my childhood abuse and rape and therapy, the PO treated me like I had the plague and always agreed with difficult child no matter what he said. It really isn't difficult child's fault that he's sitting there blaming me for everything. That;'s what the safety net taught him.</p><p></p><p>And look at how this works- because I put myself thru therapy in my early twenties, than I have permanent mental illness that has ruined my child- at the same time, I'm in trouble for not getting mental health care. My bro on the other hand, has more issues than me but has never gone to a therapist in his life, so he must be healthier for difficult child.</p><p></p><p>And- if I have horrible mental illeness but am not a harm to my child or causing him a problem, they are not legally allowed to order me on medications or in therapy unless I was a danger to self or others. My hands shake when I'm nervous. I'm nervous in court. People in court used to assume that I was on meth. I am not. I had tdocs, psychiatrists, and physicians check everything and try everything imaginable years ago and no one has an answer. My father had the same issue. Did this cause difficult child's problems? No. And I refuse to take an addictive medication to try to cure it- it won't and quite frankly, if it bothers other people I think it's their problem, not mine. Can they take my word for this? Apparently not. I have previously been diagnosis'd with depression and anxiety and I suspect PTSD, although I was never told that one, and I put myself thru a rehab to get off cocaine when I was 20yo. That's it- nothing else. The gal and judge already know this. No, I don't do illegal drugs now and have had no problem since the rehab over 25 years ago. My bro did drugs too and probably still does- but see, that doesn't matter because he never went to get help. Thhis is the kind of carp we are dealing with. I can't even prove it because the records have long since been destroyed, I'm sure.</p><p></p><p>No one in my family understands how the dysfunction can effect everyone- not just a </p><p>problem person" more than me. No one wants and tries to break this chain with my son more than me. But I swear, I doon't think it's me enabling difficult child. I think it's the PO and my family and now the idiotic CA who is supposed to be prosecuting a kid for holding a knife to his mother's neck.</p><p></p><p>I told them all about my therapy when I testified last year. I told them it was detrimental to me to have people try to take over it because I had to be kept in control of my own mental health in order to stay responsible for it. I tried to explain it- I did start with a therapist for myself last fall. They don';t even want all that - yet- they wanted me to do nothing but a personality test then order me a diagnosis and therapy based on that. The test isn't supposed to be used alone for a diagnosis, much less a treatment plan. The person interpreting the test results and making the diagnosis and treatment plan knows nothing about me except what the mst guy told them. This test picks up on what areas a person deviates from statistical norms- it doesn't say why and it certainly can't determine how, if at all, it efffects or triggers difficult child. That would all be up to the tester to determine. That is why they are supposed to do a thorough assessment to come up with a diagnosis and so forth. I was told they would NOT be doing that. And the tester has never even met difficult child- how could the person possibly know what is triggering him? Wr've had psychiatrists and tdocs involved for over 3 years and none of them could tell me what was triggering difficult child, but one person giving me nothing but one written personlaity test can? BS. So WHY are they wanting me to take it? That is a darn good question. So they can find something and continue to blame me instead of treating difficult child maybe? They could send him home and save their money for Residential Treatment Center (RTC). Maybe people still can't accept those that have been raped as a kid, had a drug problem, was suicidal, and went to therapy, as ever being competent to raise a child and be "normal". Maybe they are just like my family- I will be defective all my life. And this is NOT what I have tried to teach difficult child- even though he doesn't know the half of it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 252119, member: 3699"] Thank you. I've already been in contact with the first three- they don't/can't help with our situation. You'd be surprised at the people who still don't want to get involved once a kid has been "hooked" by Department of Juvenile Justice. I haven't tried the last two. Where does it come from- the only thing I can figure is my bro calling around trying to get custody a couple of years ago and putting seeds of doubt in all these people's minds that because I've been to therapy in my past, I am ruining my child, plus a gal who "protects" the child by laying blame on the parent (yes, I do think that's her way), and therapist's and psychiatrist's that don't know what to do other than what they do. I've had more than one end up throwing their arms up in the air, aloong with a PO who just says I'm over protective and instead of people asking specificaly what she's basing that on, they just take her word. Add all that together with a kid who isn't "cured" yet, and well, it must be me. People ASSUME that if a parents' family isn't backing them, something must be wrong with the parent. The PO always acted like she had an attitude toward me. I'd heard from others- even legal people- that it's her personality. But after I testified about my childhood abuse and rape and therapy, the PO treated me like I had the plague and always agreed with difficult child no matter what he said. It really isn't difficult child's fault that he's sitting there blaming me for everything. That;'s what the safety net taught him. And look at how this works- because I put myself thru therapy in my early twenties, than I have permanent mental illness that has ruined my child- at the same time, I'm in trouble for not getting mental health care. My bro on the other hand, has more issues than me but has never gone to a therapist in his life, so he must be healthier for difficult child. And- if I have horrible mental illeness but am not a harm to my child or causing him a problem, they are not legally allowed to order me on medications or in therapy unless I was a danger to self or others. My hands shake when I'm nervous. I'm nervous in court. People in court used to assume that I was on meth. I am not. I had tdocs, psychiatrists, and physicians check everything and try everything imaginable years ago and no one has an answer. My father had the same issue. Did this cause difficult child's problems? No. And I refuse to take an addictive medication to try to cure it- it won't and quite frankly, if it bothers other people I think it's their problem, not mine. Can they take my word for this? Apparently not. I have previously been diagnosis'd with depression and anxiety and I suspect PTSD, although I was never told that one, and I put myself thru a rehab to get off cocaine when I was 20yo. That's it- nothing else. The gal and judge already know this. No, I don't do illegal drugs now and have had no problem since the rehab over 25 years ago. My bro did drugs too and probably still does- but see, that doesn't matter because he never went to get help. Thhis is the kind of carp we are dealing with. I can't even prove it because the records have long since been destroyed, I'm sure. No one in my family understands how the dysfunction can effect everyone- not just a problem person" more than me. No one wants and tries to break this chain with my son more than me. But I swear, I doon't think it's me enabling difficult child. I think it's the PO and my family and now the idiotic CA who is supposed to be prosecuting a kid for holding a knife to his mother's neck. I told them all about my therapy when I testified last year. I told them it was detrimental to me to have people try to take over it because I had to be kept in control of my own mental health in order to stay responsible for it. I tried to explain it- I did start with a therapist for myself last fall. They don';t even want all that - yet- they wanted me to do nothing but a personality test then order me a diagnosis and therapy based on that. The test isn't supposed to be used alone for a diagnosis, much less a treatment plan. The person interpreting the test results and making the diagnosis and treatment plan knows nothing about me except what the mst guy told them. This test picks up on what areas a person deviates from statistical norms- it doesn't say why and it certainly can't determine how, if at all, it efffects or triggers difficult child. That would all be up to the tester to determine. That is why they are supposed to do a thorough assessment to come up with a diagnosis and so forth. I was told they would NOT be doing that. And the tester has never even met difficult child- how could the person possibly know what is triggering him? Wr've had psychiatrists and tdocs involved for over 3 years and none of them could tell me what was triggering difficult child, but one person giving me nothing but one written personlaity test can? BS. So WHY are they wanting me to take it? That is a darn good question. So they can find something and continue to blame me instead of treating difficult child maybe? They could send him home and save their money for Residential Treatment Center (RTC). Maybe people still can't accept those that have been raped as a kid, had a drug problem, was suicidal, and went to therapy, as ever being competent to raise a child and be "normal". Maybe they are just like my family- I will be defective all my life. And this is NOT what I have tried to teach difficult child- even though he doesn't know the half of it. [/QUOTE]
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