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<blockquote data-quote="Stella" data-source="post: 252333" data-attributes="member: 6837"><p>Hi Klmno,</p><p>From one single mother to another, I know exactly what it's like to keep asking yourself if you are to blame but in reality playing the blame game really doesn't help anyone. What if you were the sole reason for your son's problems (which is highly unlikely), coming to that conclusion, really isn't going to change anything. What you need now is to learn how to deal with his behaviours as best you can with the best help possible. Blaming yourself is only going to lower your self esteem even further (if that's possible) and that really isn't going to benefit you OR your son. I really question these professionals sometimes and I think that if their best interests <em>really </em>lie in the well being of the child in question that they will come together with the parents and be on their side. You would not be giving up your whole life trying to get help for your son if you we didn't love him and care for him more than anything - even yourself! Also, there are plenty of mothers on here who have easy child children as well as difficult child'S but like myself you only have one child who is a difficult child so you have no easy child's to compare him to and say" well maybe it's not my fault because my other children are ok". This is why i think single moms especially with no easy child children really tend to blame themselves. </p><p> </p><p>Please don't let anyone lay all the blame on you. This is detrimental and can only serve to make matters worse. You are a warrior mom or you would not be on this forum looking for advice on how best to help you son. I think you have deeply engrained in your mind that there is something wrong with <em>you</em> - most likely because of your traumatic childhood but from the way your articulate yourself so clearly, and from what you say, you seem like a bright, intuitive, clear thinking person to me!!! Sending big HUGS to you!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Stella, post: 252333, member: 6837"] Hi Klmno, From one single mother to another, I know exactly what it's like to keep asking yourself if you are to blame but in reality playing the blame game really doesn't help anyone. What if you were the sole reason for your son's problems (which is highly unlikely), coming to that conclusion, really isn't going to change anything. What you need now is to learn how to deal with his behaviours as best you can with the best help possible. Blaming yourself is only going to lower your self esteem even further (if that's possible) and that really isn't going to benefit you OR your son. I really question these professionals sometimes and I think that if their best interests [I]really [/I]lie in the well being of the child in question that they will come together with the parents and be on their side. You would not be giving up your whole life trying to get help for your son if you we didn't love him and care for him more than anything - even yourself! Also, there are plenty of mothers on here who have easy child children as well as difficult child'S but like myself you only have one child who is a difficult child so you have no easy child's to compare him to and say" well maybe it's not my fault because my other children are ok". This is why i think single moms especially with no easy child children really tend to blame themselves. Please don't let anyone lay all the blame on you. This is detrimental and can only serve to make matters worse. You are a warrior mom or you would not be on this forum looking for advice on how best to help you son. I think you have deeply engrained in your mind that there is something wrong with [I]you[/I] - most likely because of your traumatic childhood but from the way your articulate yourself so clearly, and from what you say, you seem like a bright, intuitive, clear thinking person to me!!! Sending big HUGS to you!! [/QUOTE]
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