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The Watercooler
he's sober (4 now) and waging war
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 100933" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>LYF7, </p><p></p><p>This man is very unstable and dangerous. You will have no support with his family. I would guess at this point that for his family it is easier to look the other way or go along with him for fear of what he will say/do to them. I would also guess that his mother is a huge part of his problems (enabler). These people are not going to stand up for you, you've "dumped" your problem back in their lives. As long as you were putting up with his <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2 :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" /> - they didn't have to. Now that he is right there with them - it will be very easy for them to start blaming you for all the little things he does that upset their lives. Thus the larger things he does will also be "somewhat" your fault. Like </p><p></p><p>If you would have forgiven him for hitting you - he wouldn't drink so much. It's your fault the kids have had to see all of this. If you had just been a better wife - he wouldn't have to yell at you, keep you in line. If you had gotten your proverbial self together after the attempted rape quicker - he wouldn't have had to work so hard to support his family and thus it is once again YOUR Fault. But ONLY to them. You, me and the rest of the free world know the truth. You need to hang on to the truth even when it seems like turning a blind eye to all of this will be easier for you and the kids. </p><p></p><p>As far as buying his stuff...if he's smart enough to figure out how to put his things for sale on craigs list he's smart enough to get a job SOMEWHERE. </p><p></p><p>As far as the apology that you will sit for years and wait for? Not the namby-pamnby ones you will get so that he can get back in your um..good graces - stop waiting. He's not sorry at all. That is evident by the tone and the way he treats you. </p><p></p><p>I would also encourage you to seek counseling. I felt for years that once my x was out of the picture my life would be beautiful. I just didn't know how much damage he had done to places in my head that control my thought processes for every day decisions. It truly messed me up - counseling has been a blessing to realizing that I am so many good things - and I deserve to be spoken to and treated with respect. </p><p></p><p>I hope you find the same - I have tons of literature if you want copies PM me - Some of it is pretty in your face. Even more than my post. </p><p></p><p>Hugs</p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 100933, member: 4964"] LYF7, This man is very unstable and dangerous. You will have no support with his family. I would guess at this point that for his family it is easier to look the other way or go along with him for fear of what he will say/do to them. I would also guess that his mother is a huge part of his problems (enabler). These people are not going to stand up for you, you've "dumped" your problem back in their lives. As long as you were putting up with his :censored: - they didn't have to. Now that he is right there with them - it will be very easy for them to start blaming you for all the little things he does that upset their lives. Thus the larger things he does will also be "somewhat" your fault. Like If you would have forgiven him for hitting you - he wouldn't drink so much. It's your fault the kids have had to see all of this. If you had just been a better wife - he wouldn't have to yell at you, keep you in line. If you had gotten your proverbial self together after the attempted rape quicker - he wouldn't have had to work so hard to support his family and thus it is once again YOUR Fault. But ONLY to them. You, me and the rest of the free world know the truth. You need to hang on to the truth even when it seems like turning a blind eye to all of this will be easier for you and the kids. As far as buying his stuff...if he's smart enough to figure out how to put his things for sale on craigs list he's smart enough to get a job SOMEWHERE. As far as the apology that you will sit for years and wait for? Not the namby-pamnby ones you will get so that he can get back in your um..good graces - stop waiting. He's not sorry at all. That is evident by the tone and the way he treats you. I would also encourage you to seek counseling. I felt for years that once my x was out of the picture my life would be beautiful. I just didn't know how much damage he had done to places in my head that control my thought processes for every day decisions. It truly messed me up - counseling has been a blessing to realizing that I am so many good things - and I deserve to be spoken to and treated with respect. I hope you find the same - I have tons of literature if you want copies PM me - Some of it is pretty in your face. Even more than my post. Hugs Star [/QUOTE]
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