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Family of Origin
Hey, Cedar, or anyone interested in FOO (Family of Origin) issues. Cedar, WHY NOW???
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 657452" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>E. told that one to Thing 2.</p><p></p><p></p><p>I have no idea why E. told us these truths about our births. These are the types of things you DON'T share with your children. I can't even conceive of not loving my children on sight and I adopted most of them. Even Goneboy, who is six...I cried when he ran into my arms and called me "Daddy" and I loved him with all my heart. I did not give birth to these children, except for Bart, and they were burned into my heart even before I met them. As for Bart, I loved him dearly and fiercely as soon as I held him. How can you not feel anything for your baby unless there is something wrong with your brain? E. had a strange way of attaching. I almost wonder if she had attachment disorder. She either overattached or did not attach. Who knows? So much wired wrong in her brain and so much of that dysfunction given to us...</p><p></p><p>And that's my point. Through all this writing and also voracious reading about FOO like ours (they all seem to follow the same pattern), I am learning that they are sicker than sick...and spread the love toward their beloved can-do-no-wrongs and the hate towards their scapegoated child(ren) and, if we are unfortunate enough to allow them know our grands, them too. The same games. Favorites. Unfavorites. BS.</p><p></p><p>E. was a mean lady to me. I believe she wasn't to 1 and 2, bu she was to me and they went along with her, never once defending me so why should I keep them in my life? Why should I care if they don't like that I post about the FOO? Why should I care if they think I'm "crazy" (the pot calling the kettle black). Why should I care if they think I am "bad?" I don't.</p><p></p><p>The best revenge is living a good life, even if they don't know about it. I intend on continuing my good life up here in the serene town I live in with the drama free angels I call my real family.</p><p></p><p>You will feel so good when you finally talk it out so much that you realize...they are just human beings, deeply sick and flawed and they hurt you because they could. And we can decide they are not our family. If anyone asks me if I have family now, I am going to just say I have my husband and kids, but I just have an elderly father.</p><p></p><p>If they ask, "Only child?"</p><p></p><p>I'm going to say, "Yes." A harmless lie...and really NOT a lie.</p><p></p><p>I don't need to explain anything to anybody.</p><p></p><p>Cedar, you are getting stronger every day. I know you can finally be your own winner. When you stop caring, you are the winner <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> And one day you will.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 657452, member: 1550"] E. told that one to Thing 2. I have no idea why E. told us these truths about our births. These are the types of things you DON'T share with your children. I can't even conceive of not loving my children on sight and I adopted most of them. Even Goneboy, who is six...I cried when he ran into my arms and called me "Daddy" and I loved him with all my heart. I did not give birth to these children, except for Bart, and they were burned into my heart even before I met them. As for Bart, I loved him dearly and fiercely as soon as I held him. How can you not feel anything for your baby unless there is something wrong with your brain? E. had a strange way of attaching. I almost wonder if she had attachment disorder. She either overattached or did not attach. Who knows? So much wired wrong in her brain and so much of that dysfunction given to us... And that's my point. Through all this writing and also voracious reading about FOO like ours (they all seem to follow the same pattern), I am learning that they are sicker than sick...and spread the love toward their beloved can-do-no-wrongs and the hate towards their scapegoated child(ren) and, if we are unfortunate enough to allow them know our grands, them too. The same games. Favorites. Unfavorites. BS. E. was a mean lady to me. I believe she wasn't to 1 and 2, bu she was to me and they went along with her, never once defending me so why should I keep them in my life? Why should I care if they don't like that I post about the FOO? Why should I care if they think I'm "crazy" (the pot calling the kettle black). Why should I care if they think I am "bad?" I don't. The best revenge is living a good life, even if they don't know about it. I intend on continuing my good life up here in the serene town I live in with the drama free angels I call my real family. You will feel so good when you finally talk it out so much that you realize...they are just human beings, deeply sick and flawed and they hurt you because they could. And we can decide they are not our family. If anyone asks me if I have family now, I am going to just say I have my husband and kids, but I just have an elderly father. If they ask, "Only child?" I'm going to say, "Yes." A harmless lie...and really NOT a lie. I don't need to explain anything to anybody. Cedar, you are getting stronger every day. I know you can finally be your own winner. When you stop caring, you are the winner :) And one day you will. [/QUOTE]
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Family of Origin
Hey, Cedar, or anyone interested in FOO (Family of Origin) issues. Cedar, WHY NOW???
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