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Family of Origin
Hey, Cedar, or anyone interested in FOO (Family of Origin) issues. Cedar, WHY NOW???
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 658301" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>What a beautiful thing for you to have seen, there in his story, Copa.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>That's okay. Brene Brown writes that we humans are hardwired for challenge, right from the moments of our conceptions.</p><p></p><p>You did well.</p><p></p><p>So did your mom; I find it amazing that you could look into her eyes and stay present for her, Copa.</p><p></p><p>I wonder whether you understand that your are processing your own pain and hers, too?</p><p></p><p>She gave it to you, Copa. All her brokenness and rage and gratitude and sorrow.</p><p></p><p>And you took it from her Copa, that gift that she gave you.</p><p></p><p>Because you know, and she knew, that you are strong enough.</p><p></p><p>Nonetheless, it was a heavy thing. So, you went to bed.</p><p></p><p>Anyone would, who had to harbor her strength for the things that matter.</p><p></p><p>Your son awakened you from where your attention was, then. Maybe Copa, he is telling you it is time to come back to him, to be you, to be present again for the work he came into your life, and the work you came into his life, to do.</p><p></p><p>We never know, any of us, just what time it really is.</p><p></p><p>Or how much time, out of all time, there is.</p><p></p><p>But we don't need to know those things. All we need to do is what is there, in front of us to do.</p><p></p><p>Just that one little thing, one small step, or one giant leap, at a time.</p><p></p><p>Just that; nothing more.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>These things seem only to happen when we are alone with the core of the thing.</p><p></p><p>Maybe that is the only way we could see it? To take it and take it and take it in, so that another could make what sense of it there was to be taken and oh, so gratefully, know we hold safe the rest?</p><p></p><p>I don't know. But I do know that's pretty scary. To know that we do that, I mean. Nonetheless, we are doing it. So, there's that, then.</p><p></p><p>We'll probably just keep doing it. But maybe, we could have a richer sense of compassion for ourselves, now that we know that.</p><p></p><p>We are all only just human, only just human people too, trying to figure out how all this goes together.</p><p></p><p>Which does not mean that I am going to have compassion for my mom.</p><p></p><p>Not yet.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>True. But I did not distance myself as completely as I should have, from my own mother, or from my sister. So I created emotional barriers to the intimacy I was so determined to create. And I was right to do what I did Copa and so were you. If either of us had been totally consumed by whatever it was that our mothers could not turn away from, there would have been no one, now, strong enough to know, and to see and to hear, and to remain present.</p><p></p><p>That could be true.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I am so happy for you about this, Copa.</p><p></p><p>About this true thing that you know, now.</p><p></p><p>There it is again, that whole purpose thing; that miracles happening all around us, every minute, every day, all the time.</p><p></p><p>How cool is that?</p><p></p><p>How freaking cool is that.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Both are truly functional, Copa. <em>Just on different levels.</em></p><p></p><p><em></em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>It is exciting, isn't it. But it seems to me that we don't get to know. It just seems to me that we do that one little thing and then, the next.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>It's like a kaliedescope, in that way. No pattern we can pick out because everything is always and forever changing. So, we just stop, every once in awhile, to enjoy the patterning of it. Then? We forget that we know that.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>I am stuck in italics again.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>Grrr....</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>Cedar</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em></em></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 658301, member: 17461"] What a beautiful thing for you to have seen, there in his story, Copa. That's okay. Brene Brown writes that we humans are hardwired for challenge, right from the moments of our conceptions. You did well. So did your mom; I find it amazing that you could look into her eyes and stay present for her, Copa. I wonder whether you understand that your are processing your own pain and hers, too? She gave it to you, Copa. All her brokenness and rage and gratitude and sorrow. And you took it from her Copa, that gift that she gave you. Because you know, and she knew, that you are strong enough. Nonetheless, it was a heavy thing. So, you went to bed. Anyone would, who had to harbor her strength for the things that matter. Your son awakened you from where your attention was, then. Maybe Copa, he is telling you it is time to come back to him, to be you, to be present again for the work he came into your life, and the work you came into his life, to do. We never know, any of us, just what time it really is. Or how much time, out of all time, there is. But we don't need to know those things. All we need to do is what is there, in front of us to do. Just that one little thing, one small step, or one giant leap, at a time. Just that; nothing more. These things seem only to happen when we are alone with the core of the thing. Maybe that is the only way we could see it? To take it and take it and take it in, so that another could make what sense of it there was to be taken and oh, so gratefully, know we hold safe the rest? I don't know. But I do know that's pretty scary. To know that we do that, I mean. Nonetheless, we are doing it. So, there's that, then. We'll probably just keep doing it. But maybe, we could have a richer sense of compassion for ourselves, now that we know that. We are all only just human, only just human people too, trying to figure out how all this goes together. Which does not mean that I am going to have compassion for my mom. Not yet. True. But I did not distance myself as completely as I should have, from my own mother, or from my sister. So I created emotional barriers to the intimacy I was so determined to create. And I was right to do what I did Copa and so were you. If either of us had been totally consumed by whatever it was that our mothers could not turn away from, there would have been no one, now, strong enough to know, and to see and to hear, and to remain present. That could be true. I am so happy for you about this, Copa. About this true thing that you know, now. There it is again, that whole purpose thing; that miracles happening all around us, every minute, every day, all the time. How cool is that? How freaking cool is that. Both are truly functional, Copa. [I]Just on different levels.[/I] [I] It is exciting, isn't it. But it seems to me that we don't get to know. It just seems to me that we do that one little thing and then, the next. It's like a kaliedescope, in that way. No pattern we can pick out because everything is always and forever changing. So, we just stop, every once in awhile, to enjoy the patterning of it. Then? We forget that we know that. I am stuck in italics again. Grrr.... Cedar [/I] [/QUOTE]
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Hey, Cedar, or anyone interested in FOO (Family of Origin) issues. Cedar, WHY NOW???
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