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Family of Origin
Hey, Cedar, or anyone interested in FOO (Family of Origin) issues. Cedar, WHY NOW???
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 661007" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>SWOT, I would not expect that she would accept easily your bowing out. I would expect that she be angry, confused and desperate. After all, she needed to pigeon hole you in a diagnosis where you were the one who carries the pathology, not her. To be strong enough, as you are, to take control and choose your role, to leave the game, leaves her holding all of the toxic feelings. She will have to continue to bad mouth you to expel the bad feelings inside of her.</p><p></p><p>Do not cheat. You gain nothing.</p><p></p><p>It seems she obtained the substance she needs. Hopefully she will have enough of it to remain stable throughout the rest of the visit and for the trip home.</p><p>As I read your post I felt that you and D H did exactly the right thing, the thing I would have done if I was my strongest and wisest self.</p><p></p><p>You let your daughter solve her problem and she did so in the way she could. You accepted you have no control what so ever. And enjoyed the visit, as best you can.</p><p></p><p>The only thing is, there may be illegally obtained substances in her possession in your house. Like I did you may have to come to some understanding and take a stand to face the future.</p><p></p><p>I was so reassured to find your post this morning and glad for you that events at home are going along in a way that is manageable.</p><p></p><p>We had a meltdown here. My son was here for a 2 or 3 nights. He gets his foot in the door and wants to move in. He manipulates and whether intentionally or not, for a few minutes confused M and I so we got mad at each other. If you have a minute look at my thread about 24 hours.</p><p></p><p>My son is telling people I am a friend he met in the Big City. That his parents are dead. It feels awful as does the fact that he is now in the Big City, and we expected him back. I feel bad that I was rejecting and angry. It was not what I would have chosen had I not overreacted due to his manipulation. I understand on some level the reasons he may act as he does. It still hurts.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 661007, member: 18958"] SWOT, I would not expect that she would accept easily your bowing out. I would expect that she be angry, confused and desperate. After all, she needed to pigeon hole you in a diagnosis where you were the one who carries the pathology, not her. To be strong enough, as you are, to take control and choose your role, to leave the game, leaves her holding all of the toxic feelings. She will have to continue to bad mouth you to expel the bad feelings inside of her. Do not cheat. You gain nothing. It seems she obtained the substance she needs. Hopefully she will have enough of it to remain stable throughout the rest of the visit and for the trip home. As I read your post I felt that you and D H did exactly the right thing, the thing I would have done if I was my strongest and wisest self. You let your daughter solve her problem and she did so in the way she could. You accepted you have no control what so ever. And enjoyed the visit, as best you can. The only thing is, there may be illegally obtained substances in her possession in your house. Like I did you may have to come to some understanding and take a stand to face the future. I was so reassured to find your post this morning and glad for you that events at home are going along in a way that is manageable. We had a meltdown here. My son was here for a 2 or 3 nights. He gets his foot in the door and wants to move in. He manipulates and whether intentionally or not, for a few minutes confused M and I so we got mad at each other. If you have a minute look at my thread about 24 hours. My son is telling people I am a friend he met in the Big City. That his parents are dead. It feels awful as does the fact that he is now in the Big City, and we expected him back. I feel bad that I was rejecting and angry. It was not what I would have chosen had I not overreacted due to his manipulation. I understand on some level the reasons he may act as he does. It still hurts. COPA [/QUOTE]
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Family of Origin
Hey, Cedar, or anyone interested in FOO (Family of Origin) issues. Cedar, WHY NOW???
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