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Family of Origin
Hey, Cedar, or anyone interested in FOO (Family of Origin) issues. Cedar, WHY NOW???
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 662440" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>As I put the pieces of my family of origin together, I am shocked at what I see too, SWOT. It could be that the brother can miss and love and imagine the mother he needed, now that she is gone, in a way he could not when she was alive. Imaginary mom is kinder woman, is someone who can love and be loved in a way the real mom could not, maybe.</p><p></p><p>There is some wound there that your sib is trying to understand and heal, I think. </p><p></p><p>Is the brother religious?</p><p></p><p>The tone here suggests an almost religious devotion. It is as though the brother is creating what he needed and then, believing in what he created and taking some warmth, there.</p><p></p><p>How sad and lonely he sounds, to me.</p><p></p><p>A secret life would do that, SWOT. Perhaps he thinks his mom would understand now, in a way she did not, while she was living.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>True.</p><p></p><p>Knowing you from your posts here SWOT, your brother would have found good witness in you. Your sister will have subverted the brother in the same way my sister has. (Remember my postings about the difference in my brother when my sister was there. He seemed to slip into child mode. While my sister would sit back and smile, my brother would be all about how rotten I was in having locked them out of the house once it was clean. Remember those posts? And now that we know my sister in a way we did not back then, we understand how and why that happened and in whose name it was done. We still don't get the win.)</p><p></p><p>My brother is following the family line in this time, too. </p><p></p><p>I think it has something to do with having been dominated by the mother. (Remember the tire rimming machine incident.) </p><p></p><p>D H was well loved, and is able to be brutally honest with his mother and his sibs because of it. D H is responsible. He is the one the others turn to for the final word on pretty much everything. He is the one who is honest with the mother and always has been.</p><p></p><p>I feel badly for your brother.</p><p></p><p>I think you are concerned for him, too.</p><p></p><p>If you have let him know already that you are available to him, there is nothing more you can do, SWOT.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 662440, member: 17461"] As I put the pieces of my family of origin together, I am shocked at what I see too, SWOT. It could be that the brother can miss and love and imagine the mother he needed, now that she is gone, in a way he could not when she was alive. Imaginary mom is kinder woman, is someone who can love and be loved in a way the real mom could not, maybe. There is some wound there that your sib is trying to understand and heal, I think. Is the brother religious? The tone here suggests an almost religious devotion. It is as though the brother is creating what he needed and then, believing in what he created and taking some warmth, there. How sad and lonely he sounds, to me. A secret life would do that, SWOT. Perhaps he thinks his mom would understand now, in a way she did not, while she was living. True. Knowing you from your posts here SWOT, your brother would have found good witness in you. Your sister will have subverted the brother in the same way my sister has. (Remember my postings about the difference in my brother when my sister was there. He seemed to slip into child mode. While my sister would sit back and smile, my brother would be all about how rotten I was in having locked them out of the house once it was clean. Remember those posts? And now that we know my sister in a way we did not back then, we understand how and why that happened and in whose name it was done. We still don't get the win.) My brother is following the family line in this time, too. I think it has something to do with having been dominated by the mother. (Remember the tire rimming machine incident.) D H was well loved, and is able to be brutally honest with his mother and his sibs because of it. D H is responsible. He is the one the others turn to for the final word on pretty much everything. He is the one who is honest with the mother and always has been. I feel badly for your brother. I think you are concerned for him, too. If you have let him know already that you are available to him, there is nothing more you can do, SWOT. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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Family of Origin
Hey, Cedar, or anyone interested in FOO (Family of Origin) issues. Cedar, WHY NOW???
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