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General Parenting
hi everyone, my life in a big nutshell
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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 172087" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>Hi Belzog and welcome!</p><p> </p><p>You sound remarkably together. The toileting issues alone would send me completely round the bend. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> Is he as careless in public, or only in the home? Goodness.... I hear you about the uselessness of "adult" diapers - would he consider using a liner as well? We actually use a Pamper diaper as a liner for my oldest - has made a world of difference in accidents. It would be just a band-aid solution because your son really does need to manage this more appropriately (sounds like he's perfectly capable). Perhaps if he is able to go to college, the social aspect will nudge him in the right direction. But still.... gosh, what a frustrating thing to deal with!!</p><p> </p><p>I bought 2 quilted bed pads (like Chux pads you get in the hospital but reusable) that tuck in under the sides of the bed because my oldest is tube fed at night and ... well, I was washing a full set of bedding daily. Has really made the nighttime situation much more manageable. Would he be agreeble to trying that? Again, thinking in terms of him managing it, especially once he's out of the house? </p><p> </p><p>Does he acknowledge there's a problem, not only with the hygiene but with his behaviors in general? Is he participating in therapy or just going through the motions? What does he say he wants to do? I know that last is like opening Pandora's Box, but sometimes it helps to have an idea of what's going on in their heads, no matter how goofy, so you've got an idea of where to nudge them - sometimes. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></p><p> </p><p>It sounds like you are most definitely covering all the bases for him. Which I absolutely understand because as mothers we sure don't want our kids to end up on the street. But at the same time, he sounds completely uninvested in his own life and future. I kind of understand the pull, though my 17 y/o isn't living at home so I'm not having to deal with it daily. I have the list of resources at the ready, I've warned him and staff at TLP that come 18, he's out and on his own (will lose funding for TLP), but I'm consciously not taking any further steps because at some point he has to do it on his own. I don't know - maybe I should be more proactive but like you, I'm tired. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> My own son, of course, has done absoluely nothing to prepare and will not even graduate high school.</p><p> </p><p>What is the plan for your son? Will he get his own place upon graduation? Will Voc Rehab provide services, and more importantly, will he utilize them? Would you be able to draw a line in the sand once he hits 18, and then follow through? </p><p> </p><p>Again, welcome and so glad you found us.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 172087, member: 8"] Hi Belzog and welcome! You sound remarkably together. The toileting issues alone would send me completely round the bend. ;) Is he as careless in public, or only in the home? Goodness.... I hear you about the uselessness of "adult" diapers - would he consider using a liner as well? We actually use a Pamper diaper as a liner for my oldest - has made a world of difference in accidents. It would be just a band-aid solution because your son really does need to manage this more appropriately (sounds like he's perfectly capable). Perhaps if he is able to go to college, the social aspect will nudge him in the right direction. But still.... gosh, what a frustrating thing to deal with!! I bought 2 quilted bed pads (like Chux pads you get in the hospital but reusable) that tuck in under the sides of the bed because my oldest is tube fed at night and ... well, I was washing a full set of bedding daily. Has really made the nighttime situation much more manageable. Would he be agreeble to trying that? Again, thinking in terms of him managing it, especially once he's out of the house? Does he acknowledge there's a problem, not only with the hygiene but with his behaviors in general? Is he participating in therapy or just going through the motions? What does he say he wants to do? I know that last is like opening Pandora's Box, but sometimes it helps to have an idea of what's going on in their heads, no matter how goofy, so you've got an idea of where to nudge them - sometimes. ;) It sounds like you are most definitely covering all the bases for him. Which I absolutely understand because as mothers we sure don't want our kids to end up on the street. But at the same time, he sounds completely uninvested in his own life and future. I kind of understand the pull, though my 17 y/o isn't living at home so I'm not having to deal with it daily. I have the list of resources at the ready, I've warned him and staff at TLP that come 18, he's out and on his own (will lose funding for TLP), but I'm consciously not taking any further steps because at some point he has to do it on his own. I don't know - maybe I should be more proactive but like you, I'm tired. ;) My own son, of course, has done absoluely nothing to prepare and will not even graduate high school. What is the plan for your son? Will he get his own place upon graduation? Will Voc Rehab provide services, and more importantly, will he utilize them? Would you be able to draw a line in the sand once he hits 18, and then follow through? Again, welcome and so glad you found us. [/QUOTE]
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