Hi- I'm new and diving right in

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by PittieBoo, Jul 19, 2012.

  1. PittieBoo

    PittieBoo New Member

    Hi all,

    I'm thankful to have found you. I am raising a 5 year old little boy "B" who is amazing when he is not being explosive. He was diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder as well as ADHD (no medications) and has been in Occupational Therapist (OT) for 7 months and it has made profound changes in him and has been wonderful. He has also been attending play therapy for the same amount of time dealing with the emotional fallout of being kicked out of Pre-K for his explosive anger. It has been a very lonely road for us and one that no one in my life can relate to. By all appearances "B" is a wonderfully bright, happy, empathetic, and loving kid but when he is in a rage, he is the most scary person I know and it breaks my heart because I know that in that moment, it is not him and not who he wants to be.

    Still, despite these interventions I felt like something was missing. Something I could not articulate or explain. Friends would advise me to set firmer limits, use harsher consequences, use more sticker charts, use bigger better rewards, etc... I had a sensory processing disorder (SPD) friend suggest that I simply needed to swaddle my son during his rages. I have been hit, kicked, pinched more times than I can count. He has thrashed his room and yelled the most hateful things at me- things that make me wonder where in the world he learned what he is saying.

    I came across the book The Explosive Child and this is my child. I'm sitting here at work sneaking in reading with tears in my eyes. Partly because I still mourn the loss of experiencing an easier child, and partly because I finally feel like I have the answer I have been looking for. One that has eluded me for 3 very long years.

    I'm only 106 pages in, but I wanted to reach out and say hello. I know I will have a lot of questions but mainly I am happy to have a found place that can accept and understand my child and his challenges.

    - PittieBoo
  2. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Ignore the ignorant friends that have perfect children where those fun little charts work. I am glad you recognize that NONE of those things are going to work with your little guy. My son also has those very blind rages so I know exactly what you mean. They came really close to kicking him out of kindergarten after only 2 days. Just out of curiosity, have you considered medications for B? Are you open to the possiblity or is that a road you don't want to travel?

    The sensory processing disorder (SPD) friends "might" know what they are talking about. For some kids, swaddling during a rage works very well as a calming technique. However, there are some kids, like mine, where that would be enough to send them over the edge. Picture David Bannon ripping out of his shirt as he turns into the HULK only worse. It might be worth a try.

    Since you have already found your way to our "bible", I will only tell you about the other book that I found helpful. What Your Explosive Child Is Trying To Tell You by Dr. Doug Riley filled in some of the gaps for me when dealing with difficult child 1. Where the Explosive Child tells you how to problem solve, the other book gives you some ideas for those kids that might have a problem verbalizing what the real issue is. Between the two, you should get a really solid foundation to improve things.

    Welcome to our little family and I am so happy you found us. It sounds like you're learning a lot already. Stick around and poke around the archives. This is the awesomest (yes, I know it's not a word), most supportive and informational and helpful place on Earth!!
  3. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    Hi PittieBoo. I too have a 5 year old when he is amazing when he is not being explosive (well, and whiney/obstructive :))
    I echo the notion that none of the conventional techniques are going to work although... I can only speak for my child and he DOES want firmer limits, really - in conjunction with the strategies set out in "The Explosive Child". Do you have a partner or are you raising him alone? I have often noticed that my son seems to thrive on male company, particularly strong, active, "male" kind of men who can set limits that he automatically respects. Does your son have any male presences in his life if he does not see his father?
    Just a particular thought. Welcome to this forum, which is very supportive and helpful.
  4. Ktllc

    Ktllc New Member

    Welcome, I too have a 5 year old with- sensory processing disorder (SPD) and other sprinkles (look at my signature at the bottom). Occupational Therapist (OT) has made a HUGE difference as well.
    In our case, I do think there is something more than sensory processing disorder (SPD).
    I know you mentioned ADHD, what kind of evaluation besides Occupational Therapist (OT) did your son has?
    If B starts K this year, it will be quite interesting to see how he does. Does he have an IEP? Have you talked to the school about his challenging?
    Welcome to our wonderful forum. You have found some very helpful and understanding people her.
  5. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Hello and welcome to our little corner of the internet. You're not alone anymore. :) My daughter (11 now) has sensory processing disorder (SPD) and was incredibly disruptive, explosive and difficult to be around. She was nearly kicked out of pre-k. Occupational Therapist (OT) made a huge difference for her as did adapting our home and lifestyle. You may want to try getting keeping notes of when he explodes so you can find a trigger. Maybe a bath after school would help or a weighted vest before dinner. The Wilbarger Protocol was a life saver for us. Also, having a sensory diet available may help: a bowl of rice, dried beans or sand he crunch his fingers and toes through, finger painting, or playing with shaving cream, etc. Also, you want to rule out any other causes that may be making him more irritable such as asthma, etc.
  6. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Welcome! All 4 of mine have some form of sensory processing disorder (SPD)...I've been fiddling with a weighted vest with the Weeble (my 3 year old) when she starts getting a little skittish...again, welcome to the crowd - we DO understand :)Beth