Hi-I haven't been on for a loooong time-and its nice to be back. I started on this site when my difficult child with-tourettes was about 13-and he is now 18! I remember the long dark nights of soul searching, when I found this site, and you guys were always there for me-in many ways, you really saved my life when I didn't think I could make it.
I hopped on today, because I have been talking to a woman with a difficult child with-tourettes/cutting etc. (so many of us parents with difficult child's get referred to one another in one way or another!)-and I suggested the site to her-so I thought I'd get on to see what I could find for her. I hope she finds her way here soon.
An update-good and bad. The good. My difficult child's Tourettes/explosiveness is substantially gone (ok, pharmacology has something to do with it)--he never ticked badly-but was terribly explosive-thought at one time that I couldn't continue to have him live at home. You oldtimers remember that. He started on lamictal a couple of years ago-and it has allowed him to really get control of his meltdowns. (He went off for about 3 months this summer and the meltdowns returned-so he needs the medications and he knows it)--no more problems at school (regarding meltdowns, aggressiveness etc.-and home life is fairly good-well, don't know if any single mom with an 18 year old teenager can say good-but it is certainly ok.
He started using pot a few years ago-went through drug treatment about this time last year-and was a poster child for AA--was really into it. But, unfortunately, he has started using again, not to the same extent-but not going to AA-and really having a relapse.
Through this all, in AA or out of AA, with explosions or without explosions-he just wouldn't do his school work. Is probably going to fail almost everything again this year-looks like he is headed for the 14 year high school plan-and I'm guessing he will drop out at some point-just hates school--is very bright-but can't deal with school. After years and years of nagging, doing much of the work for him etc.-I have finally let go. He is 18, it is up to him. At times I feel guilty about this-but I really can't do it any more-and it didn't work when I did. It is natural consequences time-but so be it. I have threatened to kick him out-since he isn't doing anything productive (no job, no school work, smoking pot etc.) and it may come to that-and I'll be posting like crazy if it does.
Update on me-2006 was the year from Hades-the spring was good-he was in treatment and things were really pretty nice-I had broken up with a guy I really liked and had dated for about two years and it was tough (didn't know he was bipolar when I fell for him-he stopped taking his medications-and the rest is history!) Then in June I moved houses (a good move, but stressful)-at the end of June my father died, in July I lost my job (cut backs) then got it back (rearrangement of work) but work has been crazy, my ex moved out of town and has been almost totally absent in difficult child's life, in September I went to the Catskills for a little trip with some girlfriends, and got bit by a tick and got Lyme disease, then in November I developed a blood clot-and spent days in intensive care.-- Work continues to be crazy (3 CEO's in two years-and that is who I report to-and this one now is awful)-and I have post Lyme disease syndrome (fibromialgia and chronic fatigue)-so lets just say life continues to be a challenge--but in some ways, it isn't all about my difficult child, and that is nice.
You guys really saved my life in the darkest days-and its nice to land here again.
Hockeymom
I hopped on today, because I have been talking to a woman with a difficult child with-tourettes/cutting etc. (so many of us parents with difficult child's get referred to one another in one way or another!)-and I suggested the site to her-so I thought I'd get on to see what I could find for her. I hope she finds her way here soon.
An update-good and bad. The good. My difficult child's Tourettes/explosiveness is substantially gone (ok, pharmacology has something to do with it)--he never ticked badly-but was terribly explosive-thought at one time that I couldn't continue to have him live at home. You oldtimers remember that. He started on lamictal a couple of years ago-and it has allowed him to really get control of his meltdowns. (He went off for about 3 months this summer and the meltdowns returned-so he needs the medications and he knows it)--no more problems at school (regarding meltdowns, aggressiveness etc.-and home life is fairly good-well, don't know if any single mom with an 18 year old teenager can say good-but it is certainly ok.
He started using pot a few years ago-went through drug treatment about this time last year-and was a poster child for AA--was really into it. But, unfortunately, he has started using again, not to the same extent-but not going to AA-and really having a relapse.
Through this all, in AA or out of AA, with explosions or without explosions-he just wouldn't do his school work. Is probably going to fail almost everything again this year-looks like he is headed for the 14 year high school plan-and I'm guessing he will drop out at some point-just hates school--is very bright-but can't deal with school. After years and years of nagging, doing much of the work for him etc.-I have finally let go. He is 18, it is up to him. At times I feel guilty about this-but I really can't do it any more-and it didn't work when I did. It is natural consequences time-but so be it. I have threatened to kick him out-since he isn't doing anything productive (no job, no school work, smoking pot etc.) and it may come to that-and I'll be posting like crazy if it does.
Update on me-2006 was the year from Hades-the spring was good-he was in treatment and things were really pretty nice-I had broken up with a guy I really liked and had dated for about two years and it was tough (didn't know he was bipolar when I fell for him-he stopped taking his medications-and the rest is history!) Then in June I moved houses (a good move, but stressful)-at the end of June my father died, in July I lost my job (cut backs) then got it back (rearrangement of work) but work has been crazy, my ex moved out of town and has been almost totally absent in difficult child's life, in September I went to the Catskills for a little trip with some girlfriends, and got bit by a tick and got Lyme disease, then in November I developed a blood clot-and spent days in intensive care.-- Work continues to be crazy (3 CEO's in two years-and that is who I report to-and this one now is awful)-and I have post Lyme disease syndrome (fibromialgia and chronic fatigue)-so lets just say life continues to be a challenge--but in some ways, it isn't all about my difficult child, and that is nice.
You guys really saved my life in the darkest days-and its nice to land here again.
Hockeymom
