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High anxiety about kicking out child
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<blockquote data-quote="Conflicted1" data-source="post: 397696"><p>I just wrote this long response, gut wrenching and hit send. the error message said I was not logged in.</p><p>short version</p><p>His age:19</p><p>Disorders: none officially</p><p>Background: My ex-wife and I adopted him at 18 months old. We later had 2 natural born children. My ex and i divorced 3 years ago. He lived with her, then was kicked out by her because of disrespect and has lived with me since.</p><p> </p><p>He was kicked out by me last January. Reason: disrespect. He was gone for about 2 months; came back with my condition of treating those in my household with respect. He dropped out of school 12/2009. Blames mostly me.</p><p> </p><p>1st time kicked out by me: He missed curfue; coming in sometimes at 3 am.</p><p>Hid stollen goods at my house. He stole from me, my new wife (1yr now <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> ) and his grandmother; my mother. He sneaked in someone even after I told him not to. 3 times. After the 2nd or third time; I said I would call the police on this person if he did it again. My son allowed/sneaked him in again. That was the next to the llast staw. On phone, I asked him where he was, and he said, I'm not telling you; that was at age 17. That was the last straw. Before some of this happened; I bought him a car; price $1900 or $2000. Condition was he pay for insurance. </p><p>He got it impounded for having paraphanalia in car. I paid $600 to get it out; (city regulation) . He didn't pay insurance and the car was on my policy. I took car away; He said I had no right; it's his car too. (If he drove and was on my policy I would be responsible and they would come after me. He lost his job; 5th by the way)</p><p> 3 weeks after that he got it impounded again because he let someone drive his car on a suspended license. I did NOT pay again. $2000 plus gone down the drain. </p><p> </p><p> He came back in Feb or march under condition he would be respectful.</p><p>Now disrespect is here again.</p><p>Shouting; cursing in our argument; put downs; walking up to me getting in my face as if to fight.</p><p>If I don't do anything; I will have little selfrespect. No one should be talked to the way I was, and I'm his father who has been in his corner.</p><p>I could go on.</p><p>However, I have the eviction notice in my pocket and dread giving it to him; wondering if I am over-reacting but I have to do something.</p><p>By the way, before the 1st time I kicked him out (and told him I love him, but based on his behavior, he has chosen to not abide by my rules; and has chosen to leave) he wrote on my car 'suck my...) I hope this does not violate any rules here.</p><p> </p><p>P.S. This is the short version.</p><p>I love my son, but am hurting and feel I am at end of my rope.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Conflicted1, post: 397696"] I just wrote this long response, gut wrenching and hit send. the error message said I was not logged in. short version His age:19 Disorders: none officially Background: My ex-wife and I adopted him at 18 months old. We later had 2 natural born children. My ex and i divorced 3 years ago. He lived with her, then was kicked out by her because of disrespect and has lived with me since. He was kicked out by me last January. Reason: disrespect. He was gone for about 2 months; came back with my condition of treating those in my household with respect. He dropped out of school 12/2009. Blames mostly me. 1st time kicked out by me: He missed curfue; coming in sometimes at 3 am. Hid stollen goods at my house. He stole from me, my new wife (1yr now :) ) and his grandmother; my mother. He sneaked in someone even after I told him not to. 3 times. After the 2nd or third time; I said I would call the police on this person if he did it again. My son allowed/sneaked him in again. That was the next to the llast staw. On phone, I asked him where he was, and he said, I'm not telling you; that was at age 17. That was the last straw. Before some of this happened; I bought him a car; price $1900 or $2000. Condition was he pay for insurance. He got it impounded for having paraphanalia in car. I paid $600 to get it out; (city regulation) . He didn't pay insurance and the car was on my policy. I took car away; He said I had no right; it's his car too. (If he drove and was on my policy I would be responsible and they would come after me. He lost his job; 5th by the way) 3 weeks after that he got it impounded again because he let someone drive his car on a suspended license. I did NOT pay again. $2000 plus gone down the drain. He came back in Feb or march under condition he would be respectful. Now disrespect is here again. Shouting; cursing in our argument; put downs; walking up to me getting in my face as if to fight. If I don't do anything; I will have little selfrespect. No one should be talked to the way I was, and I'm his father who has been in his corner. I could go on. However, I have the eviction notice in my pocket and dread giving it to him; wondering if I am over-reacting but I have to do something. By the way, before the 1st time I kicked him out (and told him I love him, but based on his behavior, he has chosen to not abide by my rules; and has chosen to leave) he wrote on my car 'suck my...) I hope this does not violate any rules here. P.S. This is the short version. I love my son, but am hurting and feel I am at end of my rope. [/QUOTE]
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