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Parent Emeritus
High anxiety about kicking out child
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 397724"><p>I have also been where you are now. No question it is a gut wrenching heartbreaking place to be. We did not have to do the 30 days, I ended up going and talking to the police and arranging for them to show up and serve our son a no trespass order. We also had the situation where our son would obey none of our rules, none. What I came to realize is by letting him live here, blatantly disobeying our rules which were reasonable and simple, that we were sending a message that you can get along in life and not obey the rules. In fact that is not true.. Out in society if you disobey the rules eventually you end up in jail!! I wasn't doing my son any favors by letting him keep getting away with the stuff he was doing. Plus we knew that drugs was part of the problem. It was hard. He ended up staying with a friend most of the time, although did try camping in the woods. In any case he learned the hard way that continually breaking the rules does not work. After several arrests and several court dates for a lot of stupid petty stuff they revoked his bail and he went to jail. That was so heartbreaking for me. BUT two weeks in jail showed him that he really did not want to spend a lot of time in jail. It showed him that like nothing else could. At that point we did get him a lawyer because of the long term consequences of the charges..... and we worked with the lawyer, with the court and had some tough conversations with our son. He ended up pleaing and going out of state to drug rehab. He has been there almost 3 months and is doing really well..... and here at home we have all gotten some very much needed respite. I am not sure what is going to happen but I am very clear that we will not live like that again. So what he is doing to you is more than disrespect.... I think of disrespect as mouthing off... but he is breaking rules over and over again. That is showing a total disregard for you and your family and I agree you don't want to live like that, and you should not have to. So I hope you go ahead and give him the eviction notice.... and keep coming here for support. A lot of us on the parent emeritus board no exactly what you are going through.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 397724"] I have also been where you are now. No question it is a gut wrenching heartbreaking place to be. We did not have to do the 30 days, I ended up going and talking to the police and arranging for them to show up and serve our son a no trespass order. We also had the situation where our son would obey none of our rules, none. What I came to realize is by letting him live here, blatantly disobeying our rules which were reasonable and simple, that we were sending a message that you can get along in life and not obey the rules. In fact that is not true.. Out in society if you disobey the rules eventually you end up in jail!! I wasn't doing my son any favors by letting him keep getting away with the stuff he was doing. Plus we knew that drugs was part of the problem. It was hard. He ended up staying with a friend most of the time, although did try camping in the woods. In any case he learned the hard way that continually breaking the rules does not work. After several arrests and several court dates for a lot of stupid petty stuff they revoked his bail and he went to jail. That was so heartbreaking for me. BUT two weeks in jail showed him that he really did not want to spend a lot of time in jail. It showed him that like nothing else could. At that point we did get him a lawyer because of the long term consequences of the charges..... and we worked with the lawyer, with the court and had some tough conversations with our son. He ended up pleaing and going out of state to drug rehab. He has been there almost 3 months and is doing really well..... and here at home we have all gotten some very much needed respite. I am not sure what is going to happen but I am very clear that we will not live like that again. So what he is doing to you is more than disrespect.... I think of disrespect as mouthing off... but he is breaking rules over and over again. That is showing a total disregard for you and your family and I agree you don't want to live like that, and you should not have to. So I hope you go ahead and give him the eviction notice.... and keep coming here for support. A lot of us on the parent emeritus board no exactly what you are going through. [/QUOTE]
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