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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 207977" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I also think bringing an instant partner into a broken home is a bad idea. I met my hub three years later, and didn't introduce the kids to him for a year (and he didn't live with us) and it was still hard for them to see Mom with somebody other than Dad, and I felt the kids came first. But to bring a woman into the home, in my opinion is even worse. I am very pro-gay rights, even marriage, so that is NOT it. I just know that kids are very conservative and don't adapt well to unusual family situations if they were not raised with them. You'd think ex could let her lover live somewhere else and not be demonstrative in front of the kids. Obviously, she isn't going to be much help though. My take on some of this: I have no idea of what Turners Syndrome is so I can't comment. The child with ADHD--are you sure he's just ADHD? Does he often talk to himself like he sings to himself? Has he ever had a full evaluation? I'm wonder if he could have high functioning autism instead of ADHD. THe older one, well, I'm sure part is environmental. </p><p>I hope your boyfriend can talk his ex-SO into getting intensive therapy for all three kids. That is quite a lifestyle change for them, and SO doesn't seem to be interested into a gentle introduction. She sounds like she's all about herself...sadly. One last question. Is your boyfriend sure the 13 year old isn't taking drugs? I know it seems young, and I would have pooh-poohed the question myself at one time. But my daughter started at 12. She was also just adjusting to my hub, her new stepdad and that is a vulnerable time for all kids. And 12 isn't the 12 WE knew--there are drugs at every middle school and kids who take them. That is certainly one reason why she may be moody. Not saying she is doing it, just saying it's worth looking into.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 207977, member: 1550"] I also think bringing an instant partner into a broken home is a bad idea. I met my hub three years later, and didn't introduce the kids to him for a year (and he didn't live with us) and it was still hard for them to see Mom with somebody other than Dad, and I felt the kids came first. But to bring a woman into the home, in my opinion is even worse. I am very pro-gay rights, even marriage, so that is NOT it. I just know that kids are very conservative and don't adapt well to unusual family situations if they were not raised with them. You'd think ex could let her lover live somewhere else and not be demonstrative in front of the kids. Obviously, she isn't going to be much help though. My take on some of this: I have no idea of what Turners Syndrome is so I can't comment. The child with ADHD--are you sure he's just ADHD? Does he often talk to himself like he sings to himself? Has he ever had a full evaluation? I'm wonder if he could have high functioning autism instead of ADHD. THe older one, well, I'm sure part is environmental. I hope your boyfriend can talk his ex-SO into getting intensive therapy for all three kids. That is quite a lifestyle change for them, and SO doesn't seem to be interested into a gentle introduction. She sounds like she's all about herself...sadly. One last question. Is your boyfriend sure the 13 year old isn't taking drugs? I know it seems young, and I would have pooh-poohed the question myself at one time. But my daughter started at 12. She was also just adjusting to my hub, her new stepdad and that is a vulnerable time for all kids. And 12 isn't the 12 WE knew--there are drugs at every middle school and kids who take them. That is certainly one reason why she may be moody. Not saying she is doing it, just saying it's worth looking into. [/QUOTE]
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