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The Watercooler
his ex is off the charts
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<blockquote data-quote="Jena" data-source="post: 261191" data-attributes="member: 4514"><p>thanks. i will. we talked for hours, yelled, talked again last night and finished up talking today.</p><p> </p><p>he's going to ask his ex if we can have the kids. am i scared? umm yes I am. i'm a little bit of everything right now i think. confused, scared, excited nervous. all over map.</p><p> </p><p>i told it to him straight last night, i normally am not a yeller but wow did i yell. i said maybe if i yell you will hear my words better. i said often ppl who are abused cannot see the light of day, i said to him you were abused verbally for 18 years, that is why she still has her hooks in you due to that level of control and manipulation she put forth.</p><p> </p><p>i said you need to wake the heck up and see this for what ti si and what she is not what you want her to be.</p><p> </p><p>so we talked and talked alot. he thinks he can convince her Occupational Therapist (OT) give him the kids. id' have to go half time at work, scale back my hours. we would have to buy a house and give up the house rental. there's alot to it so so much my head is spinning.</p><p> </p><p>he doesn't want to go to court i do not blame him, he doesn't have the money and his odds of win are slim to none. i have a very good friend who fought for custody for 4 yeras and lost and now has nothing to show for it yet an empty bank acct. new york state is rough on dad's getting custody.</p><p> </p><p>there is one thing i am grateful for he is opening his eyes and removing blinders it seems which is all i ever wanted. going thru life with rose colored glasses can be fun, yet also stupid.</p><p> </p><p>this is alot for me to take on especially with easy child and difficult child who have their own issues. this would be a huge undertaking for me. huge. it would have to be coordinated perfectly my girls cannot feel a loss of me at all. his kids are needy. that's why weekends would have to be split so id have my time with-my kids alone while their with their mother.</p><p> </p><p>i told him what i'm willing to deal with and not pertaining to his ex being involved. i will not handle her daily input. if i'm diong it than it's my show, my rules, etc. bottom line.</p><p> </p><p>ok, feedback?</p><p> </p><p>like i said he's giong to ask we arent' sure what she'll say</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jena, post: 261191, member: 4514"] thanks. i will. we talked for hours, yelled, talked again last night and finished up talking today. he's going to ask his ex if we can have the kids. am i scared? umm yes I am. i'm a little bit of everything right now i think. confused, scared, excited nervous. all over map. i told it to him straight last night, i normally am not a yeller but wow did i yell. i said maybe if i yell you will hear my words better. i said often ppl who are abused cannot see the light of day, i said to him you were abused verbally for 18 years, that is why she still has her hooks in you due to that level of control and manipulation she put forth. i said you need to wake the heck up and see this for what ti si and what she is not what you want her to be. so we talked and talked alot. he thinks he can convince her Occupational Therapist (OT) give him the kids. id' have to go half time at work, scale back my hours. we would have to buy a house and give up the house rental. there's alot to it so so much my head is spinning. he doesn't want to go to court i do not blame him, he doesn't have the money and his odds of win are slim to none. i have a very good friend who fought for custody for 4 yeras and lost and now has nothing to show for it yet an empty bank acct. new york state is rough on dad's getting custody. there is one thing i am grateful for he is opening his eyes and removing blinders it seems which is all i ever wanted. going thru life with rose colored glasses can be fun, yet also stupid. this is alot for me to take on especially with easy child and difficult child who have their own issues. this would be a huge undertaking for me. huge. it would have to be coordinated perfectly my girls cannot feel a loss of me at all. his kids are needy. that's why weekends would have to be split so id have my time with-my kids alone while their with their mother. i told him what i'm willing to deal with and not pertaining to his ex being involved. i will not handle her daily input. if i'm diong it than it's my show, my rules, etc. bottom line. ok, feedback? like i said he's giong to ask we arent' sure what she'll say [/QUOTE]
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his ex is off the charts
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