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The Watercooler
his ex is off the charts
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<blockquote data-quote="Jena" data-source="post: 261267" data-attributes="member: 4514"><p>thanks guys so very much for taking such time and thought to respond to this crazy and unexpected situation.</p><p> </p><p>That was my first thought was his ex calling constantly i told him i cannot and will not survive under that type of unnecessary drama. that is the reason we would take the kids to lessen the drama. i said there should be set times they can call their mom. he's kinda stuck on they can call when they want. yet he does agree that she cannot call everyday she'll have set days to call. </p><p> </p><p>she'd have to take them every other weekend when my difficult child goes with-her dad and easy child would stay home with-me to get some her and me time. i would want his ex to also take her kids the other weekends on a sat night adn return them sunday night to give me and mine time alone.</p><p> </p><p>there would have to be a set routine in place, kids would have to be told what that routine is and consequences if the routine is not adhered to. charts, charts and more charts. the only thing that makes me nervous is his older one.</p><p> </p><p>she has been known to be quite difficult to handle. she thinks it would be a party here and it would not i run a tight ship during the week. i told her you think it would be all fun and games yet it would not. we have a routine and we stick to the routine. it is alot because if she got violent in anyway with me cops would be called and boyfriend would have to understand that i would not tolerate any type of aggression in my home.</p><p> </p><p>it's so hard to understand what happens on their end. i've seen her kick up here and boyfriend doesn't always handle her well either in my own opinion that is. i'm not saying i'm perfect far far from it. yet at the end of the day i wouldn't tolerate any carp from her. that means stealing, physical or verbal aggresion, etc.</p><p> </p><p>what else can we do at this point to protect them? hmmm boyfriend said last night during our first beer that he hada long talk with-her and told her she has to change. i said you and i both know that will not happen. she has had years of being verbally abusive to them and you and a few times physically abusive to them yet flying right under the radar.</p><p> </p><p>my first and foremost concern is always the girls, mine that is. i know my daughter would have a very hard time with it yet i told him she'd have to have her own room bottom line. i think difficult child would be ok only because she mostly looks forward to them coming yet as of late hasnt' been too happy about their arrival simply because she is very vigilant about our new home and she hates it when their rough on things and rip things apart or damage anything. she is protective of her home.</p><p> </p><p>i'm not saying i'm going to do it. i'm going to talk to my kids when i think this is more of a realistic thing that will happen and see how they feel. yet truth is if it came down to my girls really not wanting it him and i would have to split. i coudlnt' force it down their throats and i couldnt' tell him not to take custody of his kids due to mine not wanting them.</p><p> </p><p>ooh so complicated. why can't his ex just be an ok mom? why oh why?i really got in over my head with this entire deal.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jena, post: 261267, member: 4514"] thanks guys so very much for taking such time and thought to respond to this crazy and unexpected situation. That was my first thought was his ex calling constantly i told him i cannot and will not survive under that type of unnecessary drama. that is the reason we would take the kids to lessen the drama. i said there should be set times they can call their mom. he's kinda stuck on they can call when they want. yet he does agree that she cannot call everyday she'll have set days to call. she'd have to take them every other weekend when my difficult child goes with-her dad and easy child would stay home with-me to get some her and me time. i would want his ex to also take her kids the other weekends on a sat night adn return them sunday night to give me and mine time alone. there would have to be a set routine in place, kids would have to be told what that routine is and consequences if the routine is not adhered to. charts, charts and more charts. the only thing that makes me nervous is his older one. she has been known to be quite difficult to handle. she thinks it would be a party here and it would not i run a tight ship during the week. i told her you think it would be all fun and games yet it would not. we have a routine and we stick to the routine. it is alot because if she got violent in anyway with me cops would be called and boyfriend would have to understand that i would not tolerate any type of aggression in my home. it's so hard to understand what happens on their end. i've seen her kick up here and boyfriend doesn't always handle her well either in my own opinion that is. i'm not saying i'm perfect far far from it. yet at the end of the day i wouldn't tolerate any carp from her. that means stealing, physical or verbal aggresion, etc. what else can we do at this point to protect them? hmmm boyfriend said last night during our first beer that he hada long talk with-her and told her she has to change. i said you and i both know that will not happen. she has had years of being verbally abusive to them and you and a few times physically abusive to them yet flying right under the radar. my first and foremost concern is always the girls, mine that is. i know my daughter would have a very hard time with it yet i told him she'd have to have her own room bottom line. i think difficult child would be ok only because she mostly looks forward to them coming yet as of late hasnt' been too happy about their arrival simply because she is very vigilant about our new home and she hates it when their rough on things and rip things apart or damage anything. she is protective of her home. i'm not saying i'm going to do it. i'm going to talk to my kids when i think this is more of a realistic thing that will happen and see how they feel. yet truth is if it came down to my girls really not wanting it him and i would have to split. i coudlnt' force it down their throats and i couldnt' tell him not to take custody of his kids due to mine not wanting them. ooh so complicated. why can't his ex just be an ok mom? why oh why?i really got in over my head with this entire deal. [/QUOTE]
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