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<blockquote data-quote="Nancy" data-source="post: 419210" data-attributes="member: 59"><p>We had told our neighbor all about our difficult child years ago. They knew we were having problems with her. They knew their son snuck in our basement many times and smoked pot with her. They knew she stayed there overnight and we didn't know where she was. They covered up for her. They knew she had been in trouble with the police. They knew difficult child and their son cut school and got caught at his girlfriend's apartment by the school resource officer. They knew she had to go to juvenile court many times. They knew she had been in rehab and now relapsed. And yet they still allowed her to move into their basement and bring alcohol and drugs. They knew she was enrolled at the community college and they knew she wasn't attending classes. They should have known she was dancing in a strip club or they should have wondered how she had so much money in small bills and why she was coming home in the wee hours of the morning. So you see some parents just don't care. I guess they think they are being saviors or that difficult child told them we were crazy and they believed her. I am still trying to figure out what would make them take her in and enable her to relapse worse than ever before.</p><p></p><p>For whatever reason these parents are willing to have your son move in, they will eventually find out the real story. And it's best that your son should face the consequences of his behavior without any involvement of yours. When our difficult child first moved out she posted all over her fb about her "new family" and her "wonderful brother". It hurt me to my very core. She rejected us and made a new family, that easy. When she asked to come home and wanted help finding a rehab place I told her to ask her new family for help and that surely the dad would help her find a place. She replied that she hated him and he was nothing like her dad. Whatever else happens I know in her heart that she realizes we love her and we are not the monsters she tried to make everyone think we were.</p><p></p><p>I tried to intervene so many times with her and it didn't work. In the end I had to give up and let be whatever was going to be. Like husband said, let her go to this neighbor's house, they will have to feed her and get her to work and have the responsibility if she got into trouble on their property. At least it's out of your hands. I am actually surprised that this person suggested you call the girl's mother, that to me sounds like enabling him rather than letting him hit bottom on their own.</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry you are in tears, I understand I really do. You are afraid and angry and you can't control what he does and you can't save him from himself.</p><p></p><p>Nancy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nancy, post: 419210, member: 59"] We had told our neighbor all about our difficult child years ago. They knew we were having problems with her. They knew their son snuck in our basement many times and smoked pot with her. They knew she stayed there overnight and we didn't know where she was. They covered up for her. They knew she had been in trouble with the police. They knew difficult child and their son cut school and got caught at his girlfriend's apartment by the school resource officer. They knew she had to go to juvenile court many times. They knew she had been in rehab and now relapsed. And yet they still allowed her to move into their basement and bring alcohol and drugs. They knew she was enrolled at the community college and they knew she wasn't attending classes. They should have known she was dancing in a strip club or they should have wondered how she had so much money in small bills and why she was coming home in the wee hours of the morning. So you see some parents just don't care. I guess they think they are being saviors or that difficult child told them we were crazy and they believed her. I am still trying to figure out what would make them take her in and enable her to relapse worse than ever before. For whatever reason these parents are willing to have your son move in, they will eventually find out the real story. And it's best that your son should face the consequences of his behavior without any involvement of yours. When our difficult child first moved out she posted all over her fb about her "new family" and her "wonderful brother". It hurt me to my very core. She rejected us and made a new family, that easy. When she asked to come home and wanted help finding a rehab place I told her to ask her new family for help and that surely the dad would help her find a place. She replied that she hated him and he was nothing like her dad. Whatever else happens I know in her heart that she realizes we love her and we are not the monsters she tried to make everyone think we were. I tried to intervene so many times with her and it didn't work. In the end I had to give up and let be whatever was going to be. Like husband said, let her go to this neighbor's house, they will have to feed her and get her to work and have the responsibility if she got into trouble on their property. At least it's out of your hands. I am actually surprised that this person suggested you call the girl's mother, that to me sounds like enabling him rather than letting him hit bottom on their own. I'm sorry you are in tears, I understand I really do. You are afraid and angry and you can't control what he does and you can't save him from himself. Nancy [/QUOTE]
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