nvts
Active Member
Sorry I haven't been around lately. It's been tough around here. Death in the family on the 23rd, holidays, family BS (the evil sisters), etc.
Well, I've done it now!
difficult child 1, myself and his therapist had an 8:30 appointment. the first day back to school (Jan. 2nd). Ironically, there were no other appts. scheduled for his therapist for the rest of the morning.
The Christmas Vacation had its highs and lows behaviorally but I noticed that there was an increase in aggression on behalf of difficult child 1 toward the other 2 kids.
I mentioned this in therapy prior to difficult child 1 joining us, and brought it up when he did come into the office. (He's in day treatment).
It hit the fan.
I don't know if I told you guys, but I've grown a spine over the past few months and while I never gave in easily, I'd eventually try to find a peaceful solution with difficult child 1. Now it's non-negotiable. I had a catharsis that basically said stop letting him try and talk his way out of it, and let him learn to live with the result of his choices.
He cursed during the meltdown in his therapists office, tried to escape (my chair was in front of the door), yelled, screamed, tried to throw things (re-thought that when the therapist raised his voice! Bravo!) and announced that he didn't care if he landed in the hospital.
I told him that each time he cursed, he'd write it 100 times. He stopped at 1200. 600 for the "eff" word and 600 for "sh".
Once the tantrum was over, he started to negotiate. I informed him and the therapist that my decision was final and I would not change my mind. I also announced that in the future, the decision to curse would not only result in 100 times written for every infraction, but he would also write better words to use 100 times for every infraction. He shut up really really really fast.
When he announced that he didn't care if he went to the local psychiatric hospital. I told him that he'd be taken by ambulance and that I'd get there once the other kids were home from school, fed, homework done and Dad got home to take care of them. He was SHOCKED INTO SILENCE!!! THIS HAS NEVER, EVER HAPPENED!!!!
I told him that I'm done. I'm done with being treated disrespectfully, I'm done being treated like a convenience, I'm done with being his target for bullying, I'm the grown-up, he's the kid and I WILL NO LONGER TOLERATE THE BEHAVIOR.
He gave me a hug, a kiss and calmly returned to class. I left (his therapist was in TOTAL shock but was thrilled at the way I refused to be "handled" and baited by difficult child 1!) at 11:55.
difficult child 1 did the 1200 over the remainder of the week.
I found a paper in his backpack. His class was being taught about New Years Resolutions. His was to try to stop using disgusting curse words in 2008.
A small victory, but a victory just the same!
Hope everyone is doing well!
Beth
Well, I've done it now!
difficult child 1, myself and his therapist had an 8:30 appointment. the first day back to school (Jan. 2nd). Ironically, there were no other appts. scheduled for his therapist for the rest of the morning.
The Christmas Vacation had its highs and lows behaviorally but I noticed that there was an increase in aggression on behalf of difficult child 1 toward the other 2 kids.
I mentioned this in therapy prior to difficult child 1 joining us, and brought it up when he did come into the office. (He's in day treatment).
It hit the fan.
I don't know if I told you guys, but I've grown a spine over the past few months and while I never gave in easily, I'd eventually try to find a peaceful solution with difficult child 1. Now it's non-negotiable. I had a catharsis that basically said stop letting him try and talk his way out of it, and let him learn to live with the result of his choices.
He cursed during the meltdown in his therapists office, tried to escape (my chair was in front of the door), yelled, screamed, tried to throw things (re-thought that when the therapist raised his voice! Bravo!) and announced that he didn't care if he landed in the hospital.
I told him that each time he cursed, he'd write it 100 times. He stopped at 1200. 600 for the "eff" word and 600 for "sh".
Once the tantrum was over, he started to negotiate. I informed him and the therapist that my decision was final and I would not change my mind. I also announced that in the future, the decision to curse would not only result in 100 times written for every infraction, but he would also write better words to use 100 times for every infraction. He shut up really really really fast.
When he announced that he didn't care if he went to the local psychiatric hospital. I told him that he'd be taken by ambulance and that I'd get there once the other kids were home from school, fed, homework done and Dad got home to take care of them. He was SHOCKED INTO SILENCE!!! THIS HAS NEVER, EVER HAPPENED!!!!
I told him that I'm done. I'm done with being treated disrespectfully, I'm done being treated like a convenience, I'm done with being his target for bullying, I'm the grown-up, he's the kid and I WILL NO LONGER TOLERATE THE BEHAVIOR.
He gave me a hug, a kiss and calmly returned to class. I left (his therapist was in TOTAL shock but was thrilled at the way I refused to be "handled" and baited by difficult child 1!) at 11:55.
difficult child 1 did the 1200 over the remainder of the week.
I found a paper in his backpack. His class was being taught about New Years Resolutions. His was to try to stop using disgusting curse words in 2008.
A small victory, but a victory just the same!
Hope everyone is doing well!
Beth
hits the fan! 
