I just got a letter from difficult child. He said at the end of the letter that he had something to tell me that was too difficult to tell me in person or on the phone: he thinks he does see a change in himself this time of year. Ok, there are three things now that he has told me are just too difficult to talk about and he's not ready to talk to a therapist about them yet because they are so hard for him to deal with. They are 1) this change he notices- but he also told me last visitation that he thinks he sees it in others too and me for one but he knows we seem to always have some difficult issue this time of year to deal with. So, I do agree that he is not the only one that seems to get bummed out this time of year, 2) his difficulty with peers as far as making friends and his perception that most kids treat him bad- personally, I think he is VERY sensitive to any comment but kids do treat him differently sometimes because he does not act like he feels like he fits in (he kind of has a complex and handles it by bragging about stuff he's done illegal, which of course makes it worse), and 3) that he's recently realized that he has a self-esteem problem I have encouraged him to discuss these things with therapist but have tried not to pressure him to much. I had told therapist before that I thought he had these issues- I've told all profs that I think he does. However, I have not told therapist that difficult child is telling me he now believes it bb/c I knew she would immediately ask him about these things and difficult child would feel I had betrayed him. I was comfortable that difficult child was working toward telling his therapist himself. But, I think difficult child felt he needed to retaliate against me when we would get too close to these subjects and he gets mad and tells therapist that the reason these things happens is because I'm too strict and over-protective. Actually, he came right out and said that the reason he had no friends was because of that and he said that in front of therapist last session. I see this as a defense mechanism but therapist believes it is true. I had wondered if difficult child was just manipulating me because what he seemed to be telling me and therapist just didn't match but I honestly believe him at this point. So, my question is how would you handle things with therapist? She is supposed to call me tomorrow or Thurs. and I have a feeling it's to try to convince me that I'm in denial about difficult child and my being too strict and not letting him grow up. I am in full disagreement but I don't want to betray difficult child's confidence. I don't think he's to the point of needing to be back on medications or that he's a danger to himself or anything so I don't view it as a crisis, which I think more than justifies telling profs whatever the difficult child has said or done. I tend to want to just play along with her until we get difficult child out of there, then see again if we can find a male therapist who he might open up to. But, I am a little worried about difficult child getting released to parole with this therapist's recommendations that are based on her perception that I drove difficult child to illegal activity. on the other hand, I hope I have not just convinced difficult child that he has these issues when maybe he really does not- but that's when I think about how all this started several years ago and I kind of reassure myself that I was not telling him these things or taking him to profs before he started acting troubled and having difficulties, then later breaking the law. So, what would you do? I've even thought maybe I'll just tell therapist and PO that difficult child is confiding in me about things he isn't ready to discuss with therapist yet and I am not comfortable with any therapist recommendations until difficult child has reached a point of working on these other things.