LovetoCareDepressed
New Member
I just wanted to share my story and correct my role if I need to do things differently. I love my family despite life has given me more challenges than I can handle sometime. I would not have asked anything more than what I got and even with all the raw deals, I feel I am lucky in many aspects to be able to handle.
Until my daughter fell sick and was hospitalized, I did not know anything about depression being a clinical disease and help is available. Till that time, I was taking everything as normal human behavior or even weirdly expression of love. When my daughter fell sick, I started reading about depression and realized that my wife has suffered through it all her life. She is still untreated but the closeness of the family has kept her depression under control.
now my 9th grader son is diagnosed with depression and I am suspecting his computer addiction has fueled it too. I have gone through hell in last ten years being blamed as having affairs (which I do not have) to taking care of my children and I have tried to get professional help for my children as much as possible. I am a sensitive person myself, but emotionally I am strong and have a lot of outlets such as doing music and writing. But I have felt very lonely in this fight because my wife blames me for all these depression. I know that the chemical imbalance and heredity are the reason for the depression. She worked very hard during my daughter's episode but was completely unprepared for the son.
My status at home works negatively to be effective. Both my children just ignore me because I really can not take any decision without upsetting my wife. All finances are done by her since she blames I am not careful about money. I empowered her with making all decisions when she started questioning my attachment to the family. She has no clue how attached I am and I have to go over-drive to prove it. This has made me to work tirelessly to do bulk of the home chores not handling the money and agreeing with everything she decides.
I love her to death and I know these anomalies are due to her sickness. But my perceived status at home made my son defiant and not listen to me. He is also more attached to his mom because she can give him stuff. I watch helplessly and grieve at the damages all alone. My social outgoingness and her introvert nature together have done so much damage! I hardly go out anymore for last eight years, which I can deal with.
My daughter is doing fine and very successful. I know my son will make me proud if we take care of this illness in the right way. But sometimes I feel all my life I have fought a losing battle. I can not live with out my wife (She is very caring for the whole family including me, but she has never said I am sorry for anything that I remember.). When she falsely accused me of infidelity, I was broken down to nothing. I know I have no choice of breaking down but I just do not feel strong to bear these pains anymore.
Love is not rational, I have had support from many family members who know me (Including people from my wife's family). Currently I have to deal with my son not going to school. I just do not know how to do it all alone.
Until my daughter fell sick and was hospitalized, I did not know anything about depression being a clinical disease and help is available. Till that time, I was taking everything as normal human behavior or even weirdly expression of love. When my daughter fell sick, I started reading about depression and realized that my wife has suffered through it all her life. She is still untreated but the closeness of the family has kept her depression under control.
now my 9th grader son is diagnosed with depression and I am suspecting his computer addiction has fueled it too. I have gone through hell in last ten years being blamed as having affairs (which I do not have) to taking care of my children and I have tried to get professional help for my children as much as possible. I am a sensitive person myself, but emotionally I am strong and have a lot of outlets such as doing music and writing. But I have felt very lonely in this fight because my wife blames me for all these depression. I know that the chemical imbalance and heredity are the reason for the depression. She worked very hard during my daughter's episode but was completely unprepared for the son.
My status at home works negatively to be effective. Both my children just ignore me because I really can not take any decision without upsetting my wife. All finances are done by her since she blames I am not careful about money. I empowered her with making all decisions when she started questioning my attachment to the family. She has no clue how attached I am and I have to go over-drive to prove it. This has made me to work tirelessly to do bulk of the home chores not handling the money and agreeing with everything she decides.
I love her to death and I know these anomalies are due to her sickness. But my perceived status at home made my son defiant and not listen to me. He is also more attached to his mom because she can give him stuff. I watch helplessly and grieve at the damages all alone. My social outgoingness and her introvert nature together have done so much damage! I hardly go out anymore for last eight years, which I can deal with.
My daughter is doing fine and very successful. I know my son will make me proud if we take care of this illness in the right way. But sometimes I feel all my life I have fought a losing battle. I can not live with out my wife (She is very caring for the whole family including me, but she has never said I am sorry for anything that I remember.). When she falsely accused me of infidelity, I was broken down to nothing. I know I have no choice of breaking down but I just do not feel strong to bear these pains anymore.
Love is not rational, I have had support from many family members who know me (Including people from my wife's family). Currently I have to deal with my son not going to school. I just do not know how to do it all alone.