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Holy Cow This GIRL!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 608337" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Well, I disagree, Dancerat. You aren't parenting a little boy anymore and you don't need to stay in control for him. You need to stay in control and be happy (and I'm so glad you are content tonight) for YOU. You do not have to be long suffering and always a good example for an adult. Your parenting days are pretty much over. As you see, you can no longer parent him. He does what he wants and disregards your example. I think that at your time of life you should mostly do things for yourself and, if you have one, your husband or SO or hang with your friends and enjoy yourself for YOU. My youngest is seventeen and I'm already doing that. I let her make most of her decisions...she is almost eighteen and will be in college next year. I don't angst about her when she is gone. Now...it IS different as she is a easy child. But even if she wasn't, my life continues, regardless of the choices my kids make.</p><p></p><p>I think sometimes we as mothers think of our identities as non-existent except for our children, younger or adult. This is kind of dangerous since our kids move on, to good or bad places, but they move on. We put in our time and, even if we enjoy parenting, it is good to have lives of our own. Do you go out with your friends, have clubs or hobbies you do for yourself? Do you take care of yourself as well as you try to take care of your grown kids? I think you should and deserve it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 608337, member: 1550"] Well, I disagree, Dancerat. You aren't parenting a little boy anymore and you don't need to stay in control for him. You need to stay in control and be happy (and I'm so glad you are content tonight) for YOU. You do not have to be long suffering and always a good example for an adult. Your parenting days are pretty much over. As you see, you can no longer parent him. He does what he wants and disregards your example. I think that at your time of life you should mostly do things for yourself and, if you have one, your husband or SO or hang with your friends and enjoy yourself for YOU. My youngest is seventeen and I'm already doing that. I let her make most of her decisions...she is almost eighteen and will be in college next year. I don't angst about her when she is gone. Now...it IS different as she is a easy child. But even if she wasn't, my life continues, regardless of the choices my kids make. I think sometimes we as mothers think of our identities as non-existent except for our children, younger or adult. This is kind of dangerous since our kids move on, to good or bad places, but they move on. We put in our time and, even if we enjoy parenting, it is good to have lives of our own. Do you go out with your friends, have clubs or hobbies you do for yourself? Do you take care of yourself as well as you try to take care of your grown kids? I think you should and deserve it. [/QUOTE]
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