Home and update

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by toughlovin, Mar 2, 2012.

  1. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    Hi all,

    I took the redeye last night so I am a bit loopy today even after a nap. It was a good visit in many ways but also hard. My dad is really failing and every time I do see him I wonder if this is the last time... I suspect this time it might really be. He is so frail both physically and mentally... Because he was in their health care section he could not come down for meals with us so I got some good time with his girlfriend and also his step daughter (technically my step sister although we were all adults when our parents go married). And I saw a good friend.... so all that was good. However it is good to be home.

    Talked to my sons therapist today. I like her over the phone. My husband is going to go visit in a couple of weeks... I am not going to go. Their relationship is easier than my relationship with my son. It sounds like my son is struggling with some ambivilence... and he is not getting to some of the major underlying issues. So she asked my permission to let him know that I had told her about some of them... of course I said yes. He might be angry with me but I don't care if he is angry I just want him to get at the things that prevent him from real recovery.

    At least he is still there.....

  2. AmericanGirl

    AmericanGirl Guest

    Welcome home!
    He is still there. That's huge. Every day helps.

    Glad you were able to talk with therapist. Progress...
  3. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    AG is right. He might be fighting opening up and facing his problems but he is still there so that is huge.

    Welcome home!

  4. FlowerGarden

    FlowerGarden Active Member

    Great that he is still there. Welcome back!
  5. exhausted

    exhausted Active Member

    TL, I'm sorry about your pops-this is hard esp. as you are struggling with difficult child. Welcome back and I'm glad your boy is still in treatment. I hope he opens up and begins to trust that his therapist is there to help him. ((Hugs))
  6. pinevalley

    pinevalley Member

    Welcome home TL. I hope that you can rest and recoup this week-end. Let's make this a no-stress week-end for all of us!
  7. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    Welcome home and glad you are being upfront with your difficult child's therapist. I am sorry about your dad and I wish you a peaceful weekend.
  8. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Welcome home TL. I'm glad you had a nice visit but it's so hard watching our parents become frail. My dad is 92 and really slowing down a lot. All he does it sleep til noon and watch tv until bedtime. That's nice that you dad has a girlfriend to keep him company. I meant to ask you, don't you have a smartphone? If you did you would never have to bring your laptop anywhere. I went out of town with easy child last weekend and just had my phone and was able to keep up with the board fairly well and do everything else I use to do on the laptop.

    Now for difficult child, it's good he's still there because in the past he would be saying he wanted to leave. I think dealing with their underlying issues is very difficult for them. I know my difficult child was very reluctant to and I'm not sure she dealt with many of them at all. I think you are wise to let husband handle this visit. If your husband is like mine though it will be like pulling teeth to find out the nitty gritty stuff, but that is probably good. I know I let my husband deal with my difficult child and her moving, he is much better with her and doesn't get excited. He's very calm and doesn't bail her out, just offers suggestions. Of course I want to fix things and we both know that doesn't work.

    I'm glad you're back.