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Substance Abuse
home three weeks and not cooperating...
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<blockquote data-quote="DDD" data-source="post: 259280" data-attributes="member: 35"><p>I understand.</p><p></p><p>The decisions are hard to make because there is NO guarantee that any choice is going to help. Sometimes it makes things worse. in my humble opinion, however, you have to separate your emotions from the reality you are in. I would strongly suggest that you not say to Ex "You take him. I can't do it. Etc." That sounds emotional and when repeated to your son (as it will be) it will sound like "Mom gave up on me. I can't be helped. Etc."</p><p></p><p>If you intellectually <strong>believe </strong>that your son's best interests are not being served as the situation is now, in my opinion, it is <strong>your duty </strong>to say to your Ex "I am convinced that difficult child will only get better if he lives in a residential facility where he can focus his energies on accepting his problems and taking responsibility for the solutions. You know I love difficult child as much as you do. If we can't agree to stand side-by-side in making Residential Treatment Center (RTC) happen, then I feel it is best for you to assume full custody of difficult child. Staying with me is NOT helping him and I believe it is harmful for his future."</p><p></p><p>No guilt should be involved. You can cry all you want when you are alone and you can post all your fears and hurts here. Make a choice. Stand your ground and don't waiver. Your son needs a strong (preferably united) parental presence that unequivocably says "you need this help". DDD</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DDD, post: 259280, member: 35"] I understand. The decisions are hard to make because there is NO guarantee that any choice is going to help. Sometimes it makes things worse. in my humble opinion, however, you have to separate your emotions from the reality you are in. I would strongly suggest that you not say to Ex "You take him. I can't do it. Etc." That sounds emotional and when repeated to your son (as it will be) it will sound like "Mom gave up on me. I can't be helped. Etc." If you intellectually [B]believe [/B]that your son's best interests are not being served as the situation is now, in my opinion, it is [B]your duty [/B]to say to your Ex "I am convinced that difficult child will only get better if he lives in a residential facility where he can focus his energies on accepting his problems and taking responsibility for the solutions. You know I love difficult child as much as you do. If we can't agree to stand side-by-side in making Residential Treatment Center (RTC) happen, then I feel it is best for you to assume full custody of difficult child. Staying with me is NOT helping him and I believe it is harmful for his future." No guilt should be involved. You can cry all you want when you are alone and you can post all your fears and hurts here. Make a choice. Stand your ground and don't waiver. Your son needs a strong (preferably united) parental presence that unequivocably says "you need this help". DDD [/QUOTE]
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home three weeks and not cooperating...
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