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Substance Abuse
home three weeks and not cooperating...
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<blockquote data-quote="So Tired" data-source="post: 259531" data-attributes="member: 4772"><p>Doormat, first let me say how reading over your post brought back so many emotions. It is obvious how much you love your son and how much you are trying to help him, but I think DDD is right. All your loving help won't mean anything until HE wants to change, and sometimes they are not motivated till they hit rock bottom. It is hard to stand aside and watch it happen....</p><p> </p><p>I was where you are now 3 years ago. Trying to get difficult child up and out of bed, tracking his moves, trying to decifer the lies..It is emotionally and physically exahausting. I felt used up. Like there was nothing left of me.... all of us here understand...</p><p> </p><p>Now my difficult child is 19. His problems are his to own. We do the very best we can for our difficult children, but we can't force them to change if they don't want it for themselves. At one point it finally dawned on me that if difficult child chooses to throw away his life on drugs and alcohol, there is really nothing I can do to change that. It was both scarcy and liberating at the same time.</p><p> </p><p>Now he is out living at a friends. It is nice to have peace in my home again. To let my younger easy child have a friend sleep over without worring if drama from difficult child will ruin the evening. To feel my home is a place of peace and refuge. I'm wishing that for you. If may not be for a while since yours is younger, but I am wishing you the strength to come out of this and be on the other side, saying "I've done all I humanly can for difficult child. I've loved him, helped him, tried to teach him. What path he takes is now up to him" </p><p> </p><p>I'm sorry my thoughts have rambled so. I just wanted to post a quick thought and let you know that we are here and we understand.....</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="So Tired, post: 259531, member: 4772"] Doormat, first let me say how reading over your post brought back so many emotions. It is obvious how much you love your son and how much you are trying to help him, but I think DDD is right. All your loving help won't mean anything until HE wants to change, and sometimes they are not motivated till they hit rock bottom. It is hard to stand aside and watch it happen.... I was where you are now 3 years ago. Trying to get difficult child up and out of bed, tracking his moves, trying to decifer the lies..It is emotionally and physically exahausting. I felt used up. Like there was nothing left of me.... all of us here understand... Now my difficult child is 19. His problems are his to own. We do the very best we can for our difficult children, but we can't force them to change if they don't want it for themselves. At one point it finally dawned on me that if difficult child chooses to throw away his life on drugs and alcohol, there is really nothing I can do to change that. It was both scarcy and liberating at the same time. Now he is out living at a friends. It is nice to have peace in my home again. To let my younger easy child have a friend sleep over without worring if drama from difficult child will ruin the evening. To feel my home is a place of peace and refuge. I'm wishing that for you. If may not be for a while since yours is younger, but I am wishing you the strength to come out of this and be on the other side, saying "I've done all I humanly can for difficult child. I've loved him, helped him, tried to teach him. What path he takes is now up to him" I'm sorry my thoughts have rambled so. I just wanted to post a quick thought and let you know that we are here and we understand..... [/QUOTE]
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