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Homework battles- need help! (vent included)
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 109137" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I absolutely refuse to fight homework battles. Until my son was stable, I told the teachers flat out that I wanted to have a peaceful home and was more concerned about my son's mental health than his homework and that I would not penalize him, even if they tanked his grade. My son, after neuropsychologist testing, was determined to be Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified (high functioning autism). He got a new IEP and does his homework in school now and our home life is really peaceful and good. To me the price of homework battles was too high for the entire family. In truth, my son was acting out because even sitting through six hours of school was hard for him. An extended school day can work well for kids who don't have extra problems and are "typical" kids, but it was too hard for my son. He is doing great in mainstreamed classes now with an adjusted curriculum for his needs. Bascially, he is doing almost hte same work as his "typical" peers, minus work at home and with extra supports, which he rarely needs anymore. I never dreamed he would do so well both in school, the community, and at home. His teachers love him. I don't see how fighting with him over homework would have improved his life. He is fourteen now and on the right track in every area of life. This is a kid who used to tantrum his life away. He's really come far. We haven't seen a tantrum in years. This is your choice. Some parents feel it is "giving in to the child" to not force the homework issue, but if the child clearly is in distress over doing homework, especially at age six, my opinion is not to push the issue. I think you should have him evaluated by a neuropsychologist to see if he has any issues that are preventing him from being able to do his homework. Perhaps, like my son, there is a reason beyond defiance for him to not be able to just sit down and do it. THere may be a darn good explanation that the school hasn't caught. Finding out why in my opinion is better than the daily shouting, child refusal, and anger that can lead to some moms slapping their kids. NeuroPsychs can be found in Childrens and University hospitals and their intensive evaluations and testing are worth more than (in my opinion) any other form of testing and can really give you a great understanding of our difficult children. (((Hugs))) Dont feel bad for losing it. We are all human, parents trying to puzzle out the "why" of our kids.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 109137, member: 1550"] I absolutely refuse to fight homework battles. Until my son was stable, I told the teachers flat out that I wanted to have a peaceful home and was more concerned about my son's mental health than his homework and that I would not penalize him, even if they tanked his grade. My son, after neuropsychologist testing, was determined to be Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified (high functioning autism). He got a new IEP and does his homework in school now and our home life is really peaceful and good. To me the price of homework battles was too high for the entire family. In truth, my son was acting out because even sitting through six hours of school was hard for him. An extended school day can work well for kids who don't have extra problems and are "typical" kids, but it was too hard for my son. He is doing great in mainstreamed classes now with an adjusted curriculum for his needs. Bascially, he is doing almost hte same work as his "typical" peers, minus work at home and with extra supports, which he rarely needs anymore. I never dreamed he would do so well both in school, the community, and at home. His teachers love him. I don't see how fighting with him over homework would have improved his life. He is fourteen now and on the right track in every area of life. This is a kid who used to tantrum his life away. He's really come far. We haven't seen a tantrum in years. This is your choice. Some parents feel it is "giving in to the child" to not force the homework issue, but if the child clearly is in distress over doing homework, especially at age six, my opinion is not to push the issue. I think you should have him evaluated by a neuropsychologist to see if he has any issues that are preventing him from being able to do his homework. Perhaps, like my son, there is a reason beyond defiance for him to not be able to just sit down and do it. THere may be a darn good explanation that the school hasn't caught. Finding out why in my opinion is better than the daily shouting, child refusal, and anger that can lead to some moms slapping their kids. NeuroPsychs can be found in Childrens and University hospitals and their intensive evaluations and testing are worth more than (in my opinion) any other form of testing and can really give you a great understanding of our difficult children. (((Hugs))) Dont feel bad for losing it. We are all human, parents trying to puzzle out the "why" of our kids. [/QUOTE]
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