Homework Help

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by luvmyottb, Sep 23, 2008.

  1. luvmyottb

    luvmyottb Guest

    difficult child just finished her math homework. Associative and commutative properties, 4th grade math. So she has no clue as to what properties pertain to each problem and begins to scribble anything down. I offer help and try to explain to her.

    She has no interest in me trying to explain it to her. In fact, she just shuts down and gets angry.

    I would love to help her, but I can't. I am not the person she will accept it from. So, I emailed her teacher and told her she doesn't get it and can she make sure difficult child gets the appropriate help with this section. I also told her the best I can do is make sure the teacher is aware of what difficult child doesn't know, but I can't be the one to help her.

    I must say it felt empowering to place this back on the school's shoulders. ;)I have learned my lesson from last year when homework was piled on every night and life was miserable. She just shuts down on me and I am not going to get into that fight. I have other valuable things to teach her and I have to let school do their job with her.

    Here's to no more homework meltdowns!:peaceful:
  2. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Here, here! That's perfectly fine to put it back on the teacher! I sent difficult child 2 to school early last Thursday so he could meet with his math teacher for a 20 minute 1-on-1 to go over some problems he just didn't NOT understand even with help from me. And last night, instead of making him do all 35 math problems, I told him to just do the even numbered ones because otherwise he'd take f-o-r-e-v-e-r to finish. I double checked his IEP and we all did agree that he could have shortened assignments because of how long it takes him sometimes. It really lightened my stress level over the situation to be able to do that!
  3. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I think you did good! Now I'll share my opinion on the properties. I care that the kids know how to use the properties not if they know what the names are. I'm probably in the minority but I never require my students to memorize them.
  4. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    gcvmom, a variation on just doing the odd-numbered problems - we set up a different system ini collaboration with difficult child 3's maths teacher.

    For us, it's ALL homework. But we do it during school hours, at home.

    Because difficult child 3 is good at maths but extremely slow, the teacher has allowed difficult child 3 to decide for himself if he understands it or not. If he feels he DOES understand it, he is to choose the problems at the end to do first, especially the ones labelled "harder" or "optional". If he can do these easily then that's all he has to do. But if he has a little difficulty, then he does a few more, mostly randomly selected but beginning from the problems at the end because generally the problems get more difficult the deeper into the set work you go.

    If he can do the harder problems, especially the ones with more steps or 'tricks' to them, then it's certain he would be able to do the easier ones at the beginning.

    This way he gets more challenging work (which is what he needs). It tests his capability, without taking him so long that he never gets to learn anything new.

    And because difficult child 3 is self-monitoring, he's happy. The teacher marks the work we post in, so if difficult child 3's self-monitoring fails in any way (if he cheats, for example, by telling himself he can do it when he clearly can't) then his teacher will call him on it and make him do more. They haven't had to do this, though. This all reinforces the trust in difficult child 3, to know what he needs to learn his work.

    It only works with the subjects he's good at, but it's a beginning.

  5. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member

    I love Marg's idea!!! When difficult child 1 was younger, it might have helped him. It would have made him feel more in control, and for difficult child 1, CONTROL is a big issue.

    However, because all of my kids are in public schools, I let the teachers handle the school work. I used to get involved when my difficult children were younger, but all it did was make life at home more unbearable than it already was. So, I adopted a different attitude - I handle all problems at home, I let the teachers handle all problems at school.

    This works for me and helps cut down on the stress at home.

    I love your attitude - :wine: WFEN