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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 606992" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>How much does he actually get your attention? easy child had your attention during homework and maybe you drove him to his football practise and back. So during the evening your attention actually was almost solely in easy child, except for the time difficult child misbehaved and he got some negative attention. How much your positive attention he had today? How long did you talk with him? Did you do something he enjoys together? How much he did had his dad's positive attention?</p><p></p><p>ASKING for parental attention in positive manner is almost an impossible task for a teenage boy, even for a easy child teen boy. It is little like giving them their D-vitamins when they are babies. They do NEED it, but you have to shove it inside them to actually make them take it. Teen boys need plenty of positive attention from both parents, enjoyable things done together and conversations. They will most likely not ask those things and often for example having a conversation is like pulling a tooth. But they NEED it.</p><p></p><p>You are right, your difficult child is seeking your attention in negative manner because he resents it, that from his point of view easy child is getting more, and more positive, attention from you. Expecting him to realise he could ask your attention in better way, is not very realistic to me. But you are his mom, you know he needs your positive attention and your time, shove it to him.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 606992, member: 14557"] How much does he actually get your attention? easy child had your attention during homework and maybe you drove him to his football practise and back. So during the evening your attention actually was almost solely in easy child, except for the time difficult child misbehaved and he got some negative attention. How much your positive attention he had today? How long did you talk with him? Did you do something he enjoys together? How much he did had his dad's positive attention? ASKING for parental attention in positive manner is almost an impossible task for a teenage boy, even for a easy child teen boy. It is little like giving them their D-vitamins when they are babies. They do NEED it, but you have to shove it inside them to actually make them take it. Teen boys need plenty of positive attention from both parents, enjoyable things done together and conversations. They will most likely not ask those things and often for example having a conversation is like pulling a tooth. But they NEED it. You are right, your difficult child is seeking your attention in negative manner because he resents it, that from his point of view easy child is getting more, and more positive, attention from you. Expecting him to realise he could ask your attention in better way, is not very realistic to me. But you are his mom, you know he needs your positive attention and your time, shove it to him. [/QUOTE]
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