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Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Honesty and common decency
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<blockquote data-quote="jt&amp;at" data-source="post: 111099" data-attributes="member: 2529"><p>Thanks to all of you for the input and hearing us out. Nomatic, we will check out the book Boundaries you recommended. Star, thanks for the invite and yes it does hurt. Meowbunny, you are right, when this first started we went to a psychologist to get some help and he spoke with our daughters "therapist". Our daughter had convinced her "therapist" that she was a saint with no behavior problems (she was diagnosed with sever ODD at the age of 12 and hospitalized twice for behavior problems) and we are the ones with the problems. When my wife produced a whole pile of "apology letters" that our daughter had written us for different hurtful thing she has done to us he was amazed. He couldn't believe how effectively she had pulled the wool over her "therapist" eyes. She is very smart and manipulative.</p><p></p><p>We had three sessions with that psychologist and he said we could not hope to have a positive relationship with our difficult child. of course when we had her in family therapy when she was a child we had therapist warn us then that we would probably never have a good relationship with her. We have a great relationship with our two easy child daughters and our three grandkids. I guess we naturally always hope to have our difficult child love and respect us, even if she doesnt like us. I have about come to the decision that it might not happen. I know my wife and I need help to accept the fact that we will never be loved, accepted or respected by our difficult child. We will seek that help in 2008 and this board will be one of our tools. Thanks again to you all.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="jt&at, post: 111099, member: 2529"] Thanks to all of you for the input and hearing us out. Nomatic, we will check out the book Boundaries you recommended. Star, thanks for the invite and yes it does hurt. Meowbunny, you are right, when this first started we went to a psychologist to get some help and he spoke with our daughters "therapist". Our daughter had convinced her "therapist" that she was a saint with no behavior problems (she was diagnosed with sever ODD at the age of 12 and hospitalized twice for behavior problems) and we are the ones with the problems. When my wife produced a whole pile of "apology letters" that our daughter had written us for different hurtful thing she has done to us he was amazed. He couldn't believe how effectively she had pulled the wool over her "therapist" eyes. She is very smart and manipulative. We had three sessions with that psychologist and he said we could not hope to have a positive relationship with our difficult child. of course when we had her in family therapy when she was a child we had therapist warn us then that we would probably never have a good relationship with her. We have a great relationship with our two easy child daughters and our three grandkids. I guess we naturally always hope to have our difficult child love and respect us, even if she doesnt like us. I have about come to the decision that it might not happen. I know my wife and I need help to accept the fact that we will never be loved, accepted or respected by our difficult child. We will seek that help in 2008 and this board will be one of our tools. Thanks again to you all. [/QUOTE]
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Honesty and common decency
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