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House Rules? Ideas needed
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<blockquote data-quote="ck1" data-source="post: 65441" data-attributes="member: 3767"><p>LittleDudesMom: thanks for your suggestions and acknowledging that our situation may make this a little different. Which it does. The reason for the friends thing is because I found a text on his phone stating, "I'm driving with hard core dealers" after we trusted him that these were cousins of a friend that we approved of, thinking that if the friend is ok, the cousins would be too. It turned out that the approved of friend wasn't actually with them at all. The money ones are put in place because he was buying drugs. The room check is put into place really to help him. If he waits till the end of the week to clean it, as we've done in the past, he's too overwhelmed and can't get it done. I don't expect it to be PERFECT daily, but if we poke our head in each day, my hope is that he's more inclined to just put things away as he's using them. I just want garbage and clothes picked up daily, he doesn't have to fold blankets, etc. just keep the floor cleared of stuff.</p><p></p><p>I think Marguerite's mutual rules are great, and more what we had in place before, but we found that if we're not specific, he finds too many holes. This list may be too specific, I don't know, that's why it's not the final.</p><p></p><p>Sara PA: We're going to write out consequences, depending on what rule isn't followed he'll lose privileges or we'll call his probation officer or the police if necessary. If he refuses to follow them, he won't come home. He's in a 28 day crisis unit right now and we're starting the Residential Treatment Facility (RTF) process. We're deciding whether he should come home while waiting for the Residential Treatment Facility (RTF) or go into a shelter, or some other type of short-term unit. I'm not trying to set him up for failure, but he's a master manipulator (as most teens are) and I don't know if being home is even a good idea.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ck1, post: 65441, member: 3767"] LittleDudesMom: thanks for your suggestions and acknowledging that our situation may make this a little different. Which it does. The reason for the friends thing is because I found a text on his phone stating, "I'm driving with hard core dealers" after we trusted him that these were cousins of a friend that we approved of, thinking that if the friend is ok, the cousins would be too. It turned out that the approved of friend wasn't actually with them at all. The money ones are put in place because he was buying drugs. The room check is put into place really to help him. If he waits till the end of the week to clean it, as we've done in the past, he's too overwhelmed and can't get it done. I don't expect it to be PERFECT daily, but if we poke our head in each day, my hope is that he's more inclined to just put things away as he's using them. I just want garbage and clothes picked up daily, he doesn't have to fold blankets, etc. just keep the floor cleared of stuff. I think Marguerite's mutual rules are great, and more what we had in place before, but we found that if we're not specific, he finds too many holes. This list may be too specific, I don't know, that's why it's not the final. Sara PA: We're going to write out consequences, depending on what rule isn't followed he'll lose privileges or we'll call his probation officer or the police if necessary. If he refuses to follow them, he won't come home. He's in a 28 day crisis unit right now and we're starting the Residential Treatment Facility (RTF) process. We're deciding whether he should come home while waiting for the Residential Treatment Facility (RTF) or go into a shelter, or some other type of short-term unit. I'm not trying to set him up for failure, but he's a master manipulator (as most teens are) and I don't know if being home is even a good idea. [/QUOTE]
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