Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
How am I supposed to take care...
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="dreamer" data-source="post: 178317" data-attributes="member: 1697"><p>I apologize, I only scanned the other replies. SO if I repeat, I apologize.</p><p></p><p>A shower chair can be bought at walmart, or even menards.....more and more stores are carrying them, I saw one yesterday at my walmart. And yes, my shower is very narrow and my first shower chair did not fit very well. There is another type where the 2 legs on one side of the chair go inside the tub and 2 legs on other side go outside the tub, and you can slide across that type....I think it is called a shower bench, I used those for many of my home care patients. BUT they do cost a bit more. </p><p></p><p>I can so relate to your fear re the kids, I first got sick in 99 or 2000, so at that time my oldest, my bipolar with panic was 11 yrs old, my easy child was 9.5 and my son was a week one, 4.5. and my husband was in a catatonic fuge at the time. and we were very outcast from all family. It was very difficult, very scary, and I never ever forget that time. I learned a LOT dureing that time. THat is when I REALLY learned compassion, acceptance, tolerance, patience. I really had no choice but to learn these things. I could not comb my own hair, brush my own teeth, dress or bathe myself, and I had no help except my kids. I HATED the mere thought of even TRYING to get my kids to help, first off, difficult child was also ill herself, how was I going to corral her? Not to mention how was I gonna keep her safe from herself? And my little guy, due to HIS diagnosis'es, he was not even potty trained yet, either. easy child was capable of a lot, but.....this was a real lot to put on her. </p><p>Meals? cold cereal, depending what kind you get has a lot of nutrition in it. fresh or frozen vegs are usually pretty simple to prepare....especially in a microwave. If your difficult child can make eggs, thats great, eggs are healthy, and so is peanut butter. </p><p>I have very long and had very thick hair (medications have now taken 3 quarters of my hair- it is no longer thick at all) and I love it combed HARD..but, my kids were not interested in bothering to comb it.....how I would cry over not haveing combed hair. How I missed my baths! Yes we got a shower chair and a hand held shower hose thingie.....but, it was still a problem just getting me there. AT the time, I was our sole support financially, and when I got that ill, I could not work, did not have medical insurance, but for various reasons, could not get Medicaide right away either. So, I could not get in home help-----it was a truly awful time. The way we lived, noone should ever have to live. BUT I learned a few things, like cold cereal for dinner will not kill anyone. Neither will not taking a bath or shower. Noone keeled over dead from me being unable to get to basement to do laundry. I did not LIKE things how they were, but.....eventually we did learn how to adapt, cope, accomodate etc. No, my kids did NOT ever learn to rise to the occasion or step up to the plate. BUT they did find out they could find the kitchen, find food and eat it. They did learn that sometimes they might HAVE to wash a dish if they wanted to USE a dish. They did learn that if they wanted to have a special outfit to wear tomorrow, maybe it is not wise to wear it today. I learned to accept that if I could c onvince them to throw some similar colors together in a washer of cold water, while laundry might not look like it did when I did it, it was still at least not stinky. Sadly my son now believes laundry stays in baskets and not closets or dresser drawers....becuz noone could be convinced to be bothered to put it away. and I think he thinks you eat what you buy at grocery store in car on way home...becuz for awhile I could not tolerate being at store long enough to buy much, and usually made it there only when we urgently needed something...so bad that they would not even wait till we got home before they ate it. </p><p></p><p>I learned to give up my desired style of clothes for more easier clothes, elastic waists, house duster dresses etc, things I could put on wile sitting or even laying, things I could access for bathroom easily without haveing to fumble around, lose my balance or use up my energy. I learned if I talked my girls into makeing my hair be in braids, it did not need combing as often....and it was not as obvious if it had not been washed that day. I learned buying EXTRA Bath towels so we could go longer between laundry days only meant a huger mountain of laundry when we DID manage to do the laundry. </p><p>I learned and am now teaching my kids, if you cannot do it yourself, and if you need help- sometimes you have to accept the way someone else is going to do things. Other people might do things differently or have different priorities or whatever. if you criticize the way someone else does something when they are doing it FOR you, they are most likely not going to want to help you again. </p><p>I learned if I HAVE to ration my efforts, and have to chose between doing the laundry or watching a movie with my kids, I am NOW going to watch the movie with the kids. Used to be I would do the laundry.or wash the floor......BUT I learned they grow so fast.....and we get old so fast........and none of us ever know when our time is up----and I want to use my energy and our time for things that noone else can give to us.....if I die someone else CAN teach my kids to do laundry, or they can learn the way I did- by trial and error, BUT our time spent with each other cannot be done by proxy. </p><p>So, sadly, my once extremely immaculate home is no longer even close to immaculate, aw heck, thats a hugeunderstatement. Oh well. Life goes on. </p><p>OOps, now I forgot what else I was gonna say, sorry. :-(</p><p></p><p>DO what you can. DO not feel guilty. You did not choose your health status. ALL you can do is what you can do. Noone, nothing, is "perfect" ever. Appearances are decieving, I learned that doing home health care. Be patient with yourself, hang in there.....yur child might just surprise you. Self preservation is a strong inborn trait.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dreamer, post: 178317, member: 1697"] I apologize, I only scanned the other replies. SO if I repeat, I apologize. A shower chair can be bought at walmart, or even menards.....more and more stores are carrying them, I saw one yesterday at my walmart. And yes, my shower is very narrow and my first shower chair did not fit very well. There is another type where the 2 legs on one side of the chair go inside the tub and 2 legs on other side go outside the tub, and you can slide across that type....I think it is called a shower bench, I used those for many of my home care patients. BUT they do cost a bit more. I can so relate to your fear re the kids, I first got sick in 99 or 2000, so at that time my oldest, my bipolar with panic was 11 yrs old, my easy child was 9.5 and my son was a week one, 4.5. and my husband was in a catatonic fuge at the time. and we were very outcast from all family. It was very difficult, very scary, and I never ever forget that time. I learned a LOT dureing that time. THat is when I REALLY learned compassion, acceptance, tolerance, patience. I really had no choice but to learn these things. I could not comb my own hair, brush my own teeth, dress or bathe myself, and I had no help except my kids. I HATED the mere thought of even TRYING to get my kids to help, first off, difficult child was also ill herself, how was I going to corral her? Not to mention how was I gonna keep her safe from herself? And my little guy, due to HIS diagnosis'es, he was not even potty trained yet, either. easy child was capable of a lot, but.....this was a real lot to put on her. Meals? cold cereal, depending what kind you get has a lot of nutrition in it. fresh or frozen vegs are usually pretty simple to prepare....especially in a microwave. If your difficult child can make eggs, thats great, eggs are healthy, and so is peanut butter. I have very long and had very thick hair (medications have now taken 3 quarters of my hair- it is no longer thick at all) and I love it combed HARD..but, my kids were not interested in bothering to comb it.....how I would cry over not haveing combed hair. How I missed my baths! Yes we got a shower chair and a hand held shower hose thingie.....but, it was still a problem just getting me there. AT the time, I was our sole support financially, and when I got that ill, I could not work, did not have medical insurance, but for various reasons, could not get Medicaide right away either. So, I could not get in home help-----it was a truly awful time. The way we lived, noone should ever have to live. BUT I learned a few things, like cold cereal for dinner will not kill anyone. Neither will not taking a bath or shower. Noone keeled over dead from me being unable to get to basement to do laundry. I did not LIKE things how they were, but.....eventually we did learn how to adapt, cope, accomodate etc. No, my kids did NOT ever learn to rise to the occasion or step up to the plate. BUT they did find out they could find the kitchen, find food and eat it. They did learn that sometimes they might HAVE to wash a dish if they wanted to USE a dish. They did learn that if they wanted to have a special outfit to wear tomorrow, maybe it is not wise to wear it today. I learned to accept that if I could c onvince them to throw some similar colors together in a washer of cold water, while laundry might not look like it did when I did it, it was still at least not stinky. Sadly my son now believes laundry stays in baskets and not closets or dresser drawers....becuz noone could be convinced to be bothered to put it away. and I think he thinks you eat what you buy at grocery store in car on way home...becuz for awhile I could not tolerate being at store long enough to buy much, and usually made it there only when we urgently needed something...so bad that they would not even wait till we got home before they ate it. I learned to give up my desired style of clothes for more easier clothes, elastic waists, house duster dresses etc, things I could put on wile sitting or even laying, things I could access for bathroom easily without haveing to fumble around, lose my balance or use up my energy. I learned if I talked my girls into makeing my hair be in braids, it did not need combing as often....and it was not as obvious if it had not been washed that day. I learned buying EXTRA Bath towels so we could go longer between laundry days only meant a huger mountain of laundry when we DID manage to do the laundry. I learned and am now teaching my kids, if you cannot do it yourself, and if you need help- sometimes you have to accept the way someone else is going to do things. Other people might do things differently or have different priorities or whatever. if you criticize the way someone else does something when they are doing it FOR you, they are most likely not going to want to help you again. I learned if I HAVE to ration my efforts, and have to chose between doing the laundry or watching a movie with my kids, I am NOW going to watch the movie with the kids. Used to be I would do the laundry.or wash the floor......BUT I learned they grow so fast.....and we get old so fast........and none of us ever know when our time is up----and I want to use my energy and our time for things that noone else can give to us.....if I die someone else CAN teach my kids to do laundry, or they can learn the way I did- by trial and error, BUT our time spent with each other cannot be done by proxy. So, sadly, my once extremely immaculate home is no longer even close to immaculate, aw heck, thats a hugeunderstatement. Oh well. Life goes on. OOps, now I forgot what else I was gonna say, sorry. :-( DO what you can. DO not feel guilty. You did not choose your health status. ALL you can do is what you can do. Noone, nothing, is "perfect" ever. Appearances are decieving, I learned that doing home health care. Be patient with yourself, hang in there.....yur child might just surprise you. Self preservation is a strong inborn trait. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
How am I supposed to take care...
Top