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How am I supposed to take care...
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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 178466" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>Heather, you said you had depression at about the same age as Wynter. So did I. So do a lot of girls. It's a horrible age. Sometimes we get over it with or without our parents' help. Sometimes it takes major intervention. Wynter really doesn't want help. She's at a stage that she enjoys wallowing. Hopefully, she'll grow out of that stage. Quite honestly, I'm not convinced you could really help her even if you were at 100&#37;. Yes, you could try harder, do more but that doesn't mean she would get better.</p><p> </p><p>To me, there's no question that your illness worries her. Like you, she feels helpless, probably even more so. She's a kid and her mother is ill. Her mother has almost died before and I'm sure there's a large part of her worried sick. Let her help you as much as you can. Yes, she'll whine and complain but I bet a part of her will feel good knowing that she's helping. She really is at an age that she needs to step up and help out anyway. Right now, though, she needs to do it just because it is the right thing to do.</p><p> </p><p>Let her know how much you appreciate any help she gives and how much it really does help. If necessry, have a family meeting and explain that you really can't do it right now. Ask for her input about what she can do on a daily basis to help out. Have HER write it down (nothing like your own writing to remind you that this was your idea).</p><p> </p><p>She's a good kid. So is Devon. Let them help you for now rather than you worrying about how to help them. Maybe truly helping you and feeling useful will be more help than anything you say or do right now.</p><p> </p><p>In the meantime, HUGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!</p><p> </p><p>Strangely, sometimes the best help we can give our kids is letting them feel useful</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 178466, member: 3626"] Heather, you said you had depression at about the same age as Wynter. So did I. So do a lot of girls. It's a horrible age. Sometimes we get over it with or without our parents' help. Sometimes it takes major intervention. Wynter really doesn't want help. She's at a stage that she enjoys wallowing. Hopefully, she'll grow out of that stage. Quite honestly, I'm not convinced you could really help her even if you were at 100%. Yes, you could try harder, do more but that doesn't mean she would get better. To me, there's no question that your illness worries her. Like you, she feels helpless, probably even more so. She's a kid and her mother is ill. Her mother has almost died before and I'm sure there's a large part of her worried sick. Let her help you as much as you can. Yes, she'll whine and complain but I bet a part of her will feel good knowing that she's helping. She really is at an age that she needs to step up and help out anyway. Right now, though, she needs to do it just because it is the right thing to do. Let her know how much you appreciate any help she gives and how much it really does help. If necessry, have a family meeting and explain that you really can't do it right now. Ask for her input about what she can do on a daily basis to help out. Have HER write it down (nothing like your own writing to remind you that this was your idea). She's a good kid. So is Devon. Let them help you for now rather than you worrying about how to help them. Maybe truly helping you and feeling useful will be more help than anything you say or do right now. In the meantime, HUGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! Strangely, sometimes the best help we can give our kids is letting them feel useful [/QUOTE]
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