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<blockquote data-quote="Christy" data-source="post: 164974" data-attributes="member: 225"><p>Just wanted to offer my support. (((hugs))) I'm sorry you are faced with such a difficut situation. It is worth mentioning to the judge that you work during the day and she will be unsupervised. Maybe a day program is an option. </p><p></p><p>As for the cell phone argument, it is alway easy for others to give thoughtful, rational advice because there is no emotional involvement. Keeping your cool and making good decisions at the time is something we all struggle with. I know I do! A possible solution in that situation, rather than confronting and arguing with difficult child, call the cell phone company and have that phone deactivated, if they give you a hard time about this, report it stolen. When difficult child discovers that the phone no longer works you can tell her that she went over the minutes and so you had it terminated. If there is a fee to reactivate it, she will need to pay it.</p><p></p><p>The toughest thing about difficult child returning home, is exactly what you said, she will expect you to immediately trust her and give her back the priveleges. Be sure before she comes home that you explain to her, perhaps in the presence of a counselor, that her record of behaviors indicates that she is not currently tustworthy. Create a time period where no priveleges will be reinstated regardless of behavior and then a schedule for privelges to be returned should they be earned. </p><p></p><p>Good luck, I hope you find the help you need for difficult child and you!</p><p>Christy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Christy, post: 164974, member: 225"] Just wanted to offer my support. (((hugs))) I'm sorry you are faced with such a difficut situation. It is worth mentioning to the judge that you work during the day and she will be unsupervised. Maybe a day program is an option. As for the cell phone argument, it is alway easy for others to give thoughtful, rational advice because there is no emotional involvement. Keeping your cool and making good decisions at the time is something we all struggle with. I know I do! A possible solution in that situation, rather than confronting and arguing with difficult child, call the cell phone company and have that phone deactivated, if they give you a hard time about this, report it stolen. When difficult child discovers that the phone no longer works you can tell her that she went over the minutes and so you had it terminated. If there is a fee to reactivate it, she will need to pay it. The toughest thing about difficult child returning home, is exactly what you said, she will expect you to immediately trust her and give her back the priveleges. Be sure before she comes home that you explain to her, perhaps in the presence of a counselor, that her record of behaviors indicates that she is not currently tustworthy. Create a time period where no priveleges will be reinstated regardless of behavior and then a schedule for privelges to be returned should they be earned. Good luck, I hope you find the help you need for difficult child and you! Christy [/QUOTE]
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