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How Can He Ignore This
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 280175" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>The others have made very good suggestions. I think your husband is trying to cling to his delusion that difficult child is not extremely dangerous and extremely mentally ill. </p><p></p><p>You need to see if relatives will take stepdau. If not, can you take her with you? Would you be willing to "keep" her if you and husband separated? Would husband insist she stay with him?</p><p></p><p>If he does insist she continues to live with difficult child and him, well, that would make reporting to Child protection (whatever that is called in your state) a MUST. NOT to "get back" at husband for anything. The report is to get stepdau to safety, and ONLY for that reason. You will have to have documentation of times difficult child hurt her, damaged her stuff, scared her, threatened her, etc.... </p><p> </p><p>You will need to show that you are not the adult who is "allowing" daughter to be hurt. It is husband who is being at the least a negligent parent. He can be CHARGED with neglect or abuse because he knows difficult child is dangerous and did not protect daughter from being harmed. Just like a spouse is charged if they knew that the other spouse is hurting the child and they didn't take whatever steps needed to keep the other kids SAFE from the abuser.</p><p></p><p>We had to face that hurdle when I had Wiz removed from our home. Child Protection was run by a man who had a son on thank you's basketball team. I didn't know this until late in the season when he showed up in court while we were in a hearing to handle getting Wiz into a placement. He had pulled the file on Wiz and taken over on it. He testified to the judge that we were doing everything humanly possible to protect the kids - ALL the kids, not just difficult child. with-o that they could have taken thank you and Jessie away from us. NOT difficult child, just the PCs!! </p><p></p><p>Anyway, now is the time to make sure you have a bag packed in case you need to leave in a hurry - even keeping a "go bag" in the trunk of your car if you can. Make sure you have ALL needed medications packed, a list of doctors and other professionals you have seen, copies of birth certificates, vaccine records, social security cards, copy of lease or mortgage, and some CASH. </p><p></p><p>I truly hope husband sees the light very soon. Because I think difficult child will really hurt someone if he doesn't get some intensive treatment in the very near future.</p><p></p><p>Sending gentle hugs to all of you, but esp to stepdau. It just seems like she will end up with the short end of the stick because husband may not let her leave with you. And a child protection investigation can be very painful to everyone involved.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 280175, member: 1233"] The others have made very good suggestions. I think your husband is trying to cling to his delusion that difficult child is not extremely dangerous and extremely mentally ill. You need to see if relatives will take stepdau. If not, can you take her with you? Would you be willing to "keep" her if you and husband separated? Would husband insist she stay with him? If he does insist she continues to live with difficult child and him, well, that would make reporting to Child protection (whatever that is called in your state) a MUST. NOT to "get back" at husband for anything. The report is to get stepdau to safety, and ONLY for that reason. You will have to have documentation of times difficult child hurt her, damaged her stuff, scared her, threatened her, etc.... You will need to show that you are not the adult who is "allowing" daughter to be hurt. It is husband who is being at the least a negligent parent. He can be CHARGED with neglect or abuse because he knows difficult child is dangerous and did not protect daughter from being harmed. Just like a spouse is charged if they knew that the other spouse is hurting the child and they didn't take whatever steps needed to keep the other kids SAFE from the abuser. We had to face that hurdle when I had Wiz removed from our home. Child Protection was run by a man who had a son on thank you's basketball team. I didn't know this until late in the season when he showed up in court while we were in a hearing to handle getting Wiz into a placement. He had pulled the file on Wiz and taken over on it. He testified to the judge that we were doing everything humanly possible to protect the kids - ALL the kids, not just difficult child. with-o that they could have taken thank you and Jessie away from us. NOT difficult child, just the PCs!! Anyway, now is the time to make sure you have a bag packed in case you need to leave in a hurry - even keeping a "go bag" in the trunk of your car if you can. Make sure you have ALL needed medications packed, a list of doctors and other professionals you have seen, copies of birth certificates, vaccine records, social security cards, copy of lease or mortgage, and some CASH. I truly hope husband sees the light very soon. Because I think difficult child will really hurt someone if he doesn't get some intensive treatment in the very near future. Sending gentle hugs to all of you, but esp to stepdau. It just seems like she will end up with the short end of the stick because husband may not let her leave with you. And a child protection investigation can be very painful to everyone involved. [/QUOTE]
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