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How could I have cut short the violence?
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<blockquote data-quote="SRL" data-source="post: 127928" data-attributes="member: 701"><p>Lulu, there is no one size fits all kids answer to this question. We can give you some ideas for you to try out though.</p><p> </p><p>As soon as you saw him respond in way that was going bad, I probably would have jumped right in there and tell him I'd changed my mind and the work could wait and played trains for a bit. I know there's a concern that you'll raise a demanding little tyrant if you bend to his every wish but most parents find they can be a lot more flexible than they are. A 2 hour meltdown stops the family dead in its tracks and prevents you from getting done what you'd planned anyway.</p><p> </p><p>Many parents of Hyperlexic children find using printed language works best in critical times. Try carrying a notebook and pencil around for awhile even if he has what you see as strong speech skills. </p><p> </p><p>Try writing </p><p>1) First Mom works for 10 minutes</p><p>2) Then Mom plays trains with N. </p><p> </p><p>Or if he's starting to get wound up</p><p>Do you want to play Thomas or Percy?</p><p> </p><p>Have you explored sensory integration or sensory processing dysfunction yet? It sounds as if self-inflicting pain may bring about calming and mentally help organize his thoughts so you want to find appropriate alternatives. Some kids respond well to a big pillow squashed against them or being wrapped very tightly in a sleeping bag or big quilt to provide deep pressure. The idea is to give them what they need in a preventive fashion but it can be helpful in early or late stages of meltdown.</p><p> </p><p>We've always had routines built in to deal with difficult child heading into meltdown. Those have varied depending on the age and once he caught on that he could go into that mode when he started feeling a meltdown coming or going he's been cooperative. When he was little it was a snack and a video in our tv area that is adjacent to our mini gym, early elementary it was a snack and show in alone in his room with lots of sensory calming--bean bag chair, weighted blanket, crunchy snack like crackers, juice or Sprite sipped through a straw, video series set aside for these times, etc. This gives him a routine, privacy and a calming experience.</p><p> </p><p>We also have had success by removing him from the scene of the crime. One of us drops what we're doing to take him out of there when we see it coming on--go for a drive, stop on an errand, sit in the bookstore cafe, drive through, etc. It's not very convenient but it beats the heck out of a 2 hour, family stopping meltdown.</p><p> </p><p>Put together a stash of distractions to have on hand--new books, half cans of pop, small individual servings of M&M's, licorice, etc. to offer. Some times out of the blue they'll work at home but these can be especially helpful when you're out. I sometimes used something as simple as a Tic-tac to give my difficult child enough of a distraction to get him to the van smoothly to leave for school. </p><p> </p><p>Finally, there are some children who need to vent it out entirely. If it's very disruptive, becoming habitual, or is potentially dangerous to anyone in the family (ie younger sibs) you may at some point need to talk to his doctor about medications or making a safe room. I wouldn't go there until you've been through a full evaluation process and have put interventions into place. Have you been able to get a referral?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SRL, post: 127928, member: 701"] Lulu, there is no one size fits all kids answer to this question. We can give you some ideas for you to try out though. As soon as you saw him respond in way that was going bad, I probably would have jumped right in there and tell him I'd changed my mind and the work could wait and played trains for a bit. I know there's a concern that you'll raise a demanding little tyrant if you bend to his every wish but most parents find they can be a lot more flexible than they are. A 2 hour meltdown stops the family dead in its tracks and prevents you from getting done what you'd planned anyway. Many parents of Hyperlexic children find using printed language works best in critical times. Try carrying a notebook and pencil around for awhile even if he has what you see as strong speech skills. Try writing 1) First Mom works for 10 minutes 2) Then Mom plays trains with N. Or if he's starting to get wound up Do you want to play Thomas or Percy? Have you explored sensory integration or sensory processing dysfunction yet? It sounds as if self-inflicting pain may bring about calming and mentally help organize his thoughts so you want to find appropriate alternatives. Some kids respond well to a big pillow squashed against them or being wrapped very tightly in a sleeping bag or big quilt to provide deep pressure. The idea is to give them what they need in a preventive fashion but it can be helpful in early or late stages of meltdown. We've always had routines built in to deal with difficult child heading into meltdown. Those have varied depending on the age and once he caught on that he could go into that mode when he started feeling a meltdown coming or going he's been cooperative. When he was little it was a snack and a video in our tv area that is adjacent to our mini gym, early elementary it was a snack and show in alone in his room with lots of sensory calming--bean bag chair, weighted blanket, crunchy snack like crackers, juice or Sprite sipped through a straw, video series set aside for these times, etc. This gives him a routine, privacy and a calming experience. We also have had success by removing him from the scene of the crime. One of us drops what we're doing to take him out of there when we see it coming on--go for a drive, stop on an errand, sit in the bookstore cafe, drive through, etc. It's not very convenient but it beats the heck out of a 2 hour, family stopping meltdown. Put together a stash of distractions to have on hand--new books, half cans of pop, small individual servings of M&M's, licorice, etc. to offer. Some times out of the blue they'll work at home but these can be especially helpful when you're out. I sometimes used something as simple as a Tic-tac to give my difficult child enough of a distraction to get him to the van smoothly to leave for school. Finally, there are some children who need to vent it out entirely. If it's very disruptive, becoming habitual, or is potentially dangerous to anyone in the family (ie younger sibs) you may at some point need to talk to his doctor about medications or making a safe room. I wouldn't go there until you've been through a full evaluation process and have put interventions into place. Have you been able to get a referral? [/QUOTE]
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