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How could I have cut short the violence?
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<blockquote data-quote="Lulu" data-source="post: 128091" data-attributes="member: 4493"><p>thanks, ladies. I am going to start an emergency stash in both the car and at home for these times. Your ideas are invaluable. </p><p></p><p>I'm going to make a separate post about where we're at with evaluation and ask some questions.</p><p></p><p>Here are some more questions about meltdowns like this.</p><p></p><p>Unfortunately, he had another one today at the shoe store. He hasn't had a public meltdown in about six months. Is the effect of yesterday's bleeding over? Is it a physical/brain thing that makes it last more than a day? Or is it that he is stressing over something I don't know about? I know you don't know the specific answer, but experiences are welcome. </p><p></p><p>Public meltdowns: he is now over 40lbs and I can't well carry him. But I had to carry him to the car nonetheless because he was becoming phsycial inthe store and trying to run away outside. apparently my arm hurt his neck as I carried him, and this made him cry, which seemed to mark the end of the tantrum, so I squatted on the pavement and held him as he cried in my lap (did I mention I have a labral tear in my right hip and am screaming my way toward surgery with these unruly children?). Meanwhile, the girl was bawling and totally uncontrollable. I started crying too.</p><p></p><p>So, public tantrum, big guy biting my shoulder as I carry him out, WHAT CAN I DO? I need to carry the "emergency distraction kit" in my purse, I guess. And stop going out for a while, too. I had to stop taking them out last summer because they were too hard to handle. But then it got better. ARGH!!! I'm crying again.</p><p></p><p>Do we have a calm-rational-time discussion about these moments and what we are going to do when we feel them coming on? Do I explain the notebook-and-pen option ahead of time? Do we "practice" what he can do to calm down? How much attention do I want to give these meltdowns while he is rational? </p><p></p><p>He hit me at home once since we got back. He has been minorly destructive. He is in a mood. Do I try to get at what he might be stressing about?</p><p></p><p>D and I are going out tonight and they will have a babysitter for the first time in a long time. They both know and like her, but I am expecting the worst. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lulu, post: 128091, member: 4493"] thanks, ladies. I am going to start an emergency stash in both the car and at home for these times. Your ideas are invaluable. I'm going to make a separate post about where we're at with evaluation and ask some questions. Here are some more questions about meltdowns like this. Unfortunately, he had another one today at the shoe store. He hasn't had a public meltdown in about six months. Is the effect of yesterday's bleeding over? Is it a physical/brain thing that makes it last more than a day? Or is it that he is stressing over something I don't know about? I know you don't know the specific answer, but experiences are welcome. Public meltdowns: he is now over 40lbs and I can't well carry him. But I had to carry him to the car nonetheless because he was becoming phsycial inthe store and trying to run away outside. apparently my arm hurt his neck as I carried him, and this made him cry, which seemed to mark the end of the tantrum, so I squatted on the pavement and held him as he cried in my lap (did I mention I have a labral tear in my right hip and am screaming my way toward surgery with these unruly children?). Meanwhile, the girl was bawling and totally uncontrollable. I started crying too. So, public tantrum, big guy biting my shoulder as I carry him out, WHAT CAN I DO? I need to carry the "emergency distraction kit" in my purse, I guess. And stop going out for a while, too. I had to stop taking them out last summer because they were too hard to handle. But then it got better. ARGH!!! I'm crying again. Do we have a calm-rational-time discussion about these moments and what we are going to do when we feel them coming on? Do I explain the notebook-and-pen option ahead of time? Do we "practice" what he can do to calm down? How much attention do I want to give these meltdowns while he is rational? He hit me at home once since we got back. He has been minorly destructive. He is in a mood. Do I try to get at what he might be stressing about? D and I are going out tonight and they will have a babysitter for the first time in a long time. They both know and like her, but I am expecting the worst. :( [/QUOTE]
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