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General Parenting
How could I have cut short the violence?
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<blockquote data-quote="SRL" data-source="post: 128300" data-attributes="member: 701"><p>I have no idea if today's incident was bleedover or not. I do know that there's a peaks, valleys, and plateau tendency for many children. As you start to tune in to what's going on you often can start seeing patterns which are helpful.</p><p> </p><p>I don't think you're likely to get any real answers by pressing him for what he's stressing out--Bits and pieces maybe. Usually on the surface it looks like defiance to parent instruction but often when you dig deeper there's often more to it. Start keeping a journal and see if you can identify triggers, common themes, etc. </p><p> </p><p>Some parents have had to greatly reduce the number of outings we normally take. The change in routine, sensory stimuli, unpredictability, etc. all made trips out difficult. Plus I came to find out that my difficult child needed a lot of downtime at home in order to just maintain--thankfully we weren't a family constantly on the go, so it didn't cramp our style too much. Also, rethink when you do your trips out--when N needs shoes, schedule it for a time when your husband can take your little one, when the store is less busy, and make only one stop. The journal should help you--something as simple as a juice box while waiting to be helped can make the difference.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Don't explain the notebook and pen option (some kids like whiteboards) ahead of time. </p><p> </p><p>Are you using a calendar for him? This can help provide structure and give them an idea what's coming in the day to help prepare for transitions. We used a calendar identical to mine in the kitchen but hung at eye height. Used it to list the days main events and went over it in the morning during breakfast.</p><p> </p><p>I hope you got out last night and talked about something other than kids--you deserve a nice night out after the week you've been through!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SRL, post: 128300, member: 701"] I have no idea if today's incident was bleedover or not. I do know that there's a peaks, valleys, and plateau tendency for many children. As you start to tune in to what's going on you often can start seeing patterns which are helpful. I don't think you're likely to get any real answers by pressing him for what he's stressing out--Bits and pieces maybe. Usually on the surface it looks like defiance to parent instruction but often when you dig deeper there's often more to it. Start keeping a journal and see if you can identify triggers, common themes, etc. Some parents have had to greatly reduce the number of outings we normally take. The change in routine, sensory stimuli, unpredictability, etc. all made trips out difficult. Plus I came to find out that my difficult child needed a lot of downtime at home in order to just maintain--thankfully we weren't a family constantly on the go, so it didn't cramp our style too much. Also, rethink when you do your trips out--when N needs shoes, schedule it for a time when your husband can take your little one, when the store is less busy, and make only one stop. The journal should help you--something as simple as a juice box while waiting to be helped can make the difference. Don't explain the notebook and pen option (some kids like whiteboards) ahead of time. Are you using a calendar for him? This can help provide structure and give them an idea what's coming in the day to help prepare for transitions. We used a calendar identical to mine in the kitchen but hung at eye height. Used it to list the days main events and went over it in the morning during breakfast. I hope you got out last night and talked about something other than kids--you deserve a nice night out after the week you've been through! [/QUOTE]
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