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How do I accept that she is coming home?
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<blockquote data-quote="timer lady" data-source="post: 252767" data-attributes="member: 393"><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">JJJ,</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">In this case, reunification should not be the game plan ~ you know it, I know it, in my humble opinion Kanga's case managers know it. Acceptance isn't the goal here. A safe plan is the goal. Bringing Kanga back home is putting you & your entire family at risk. (I know preaching to the choir)</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">If Kanga cannot stay at Residential Treatment Center (RTC) or is "cured" then there should be a drop down to a group home. Is something like that available in your state? Be aware that I say this with great consternation & care on my part ~ is it time to disrupt this adoption? Is it time to step away from this child to get the rest of your family in a safe place? </span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">There are some children that cannot or will not be helped. There are some children that cannot be reached. The adoption/social services community knows this & fights it like crazy. They do not want those kids on their hands. Saying that, I hate seeing an entire family crumble due to one child. The community doesn't want it nor does social services an entire family in need of services. Again, preaching to the choir.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">You know that kt & wm cannot live together & in some ways they are more in control than Kanga. When wm did come home & stayed here 5 months it was an extremely anxious crisis ridden 5 months. However, wm was told before he came home that there is a line in the sand & if he steps over that line he is back out of the house. He had to know & my service providers backed me up 100&#37;. wm, as you know, eventually stepped over that line & has not lived here since.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">Acceptance can & will come with a crisis/safety plan. You cannot continue to live apart. That just isn't healthy for anyone. That plan needs to include when/if Kanga steps over your line in the sand. As much as possible live "normally" as any family would but have that plan in place. Get your case worker behind you. Find one advocate that will fight to the death for your family. </span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">JJJ, I can't express my sorrow to you over this situation. It's a nightmare that just never ends. Fighting the "system" is a stressor you just do not need right now.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">Enjoy these 165 days ~ put plans in place. Know that we are here for you no matter what. </span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="timer lady, post: 252767, member: 393"] [SIZE=3][FONT=Comic Sans MS]JJJ, In this case, reunification should not be the game plan ~ you know it, I know it, in my humble opinion Kanga's case managers know it. Acceptance isn't the goal here. A safe plan is the goal. Bringing Kanga back home is putting you & your entire family at risk. (I know preaching to the choir) If Kanga cannot stay at Residential Treatment Center (RTC) or is "cured" then there should be a drop down to a group home. Is something like that available in your state? Be aware that I say this with great consternation & care on my part ~ is it time to disrupt this adoption? Is it time to step away from this child to get the rest of your family in a safe place? There are some children that cannot or will not be helped. There are some children that cannot be reached. The adoption/social services community knows this & fights it like crazy. They do not want those kids on their hands. Saying that, I hate seeing an entire family crumble due to one child. The community doesn't want it nor does social services an entire family in need of services. Again, preaching to the choir. You know that kt & wm cannot live together & in some ways they are more in control than Kanga. When wm did come home & stayed here 5 months it was an extremely anxious crisis ridden 5 months. However, wm was told before he came home that there is a line in the sand & if he steps over that line he is back out of the house. He had to know & my service providers backed me up 100%. wm, as you know, eventually stepped over that line & has not lived here since. Acceptance can & will come with a crisis/safety plan. You cannot continue to live apart. That just isn't healthy for anyone. That plan needs to include when/if Kanga steps over your line in the sand. As much as possible live "normally" as any family would but have that plan in place. Get your case worker behind you. Find one advocate that will fight to the death for your family. JJJ, I can't express my sorrow to you over this situation. It's a nightmare that just never ends. Fighting the "system" is a stressor you just do not need right now. Enjoy these 165 days ~ put plans in place. Know that we are here for you no matter what. [/FONT][/SIZE] [/QUOTE]
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How do I accept that she is coming home?
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