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How do I get husband to stop being so agro around daughter?
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<blockquote data-quote="allhaileris" data-source="post: 191388" data-attributes="member: 5663"><p>Yes, husband is her father. Yes, she has sensory issues (just recently figured that out because I have a friend who's daughter has Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) and realized Eris is the opposite, sensory seeker). </p><p> </p><p>I have insurance, the medical community here kind of *****, but mostly I just need to get through some personal stuff first before starting another battle getting her evaluated. Probably in a couple months. </p><p> </p><p>With disipline we're having a hard time agreeing. Often I just do the "do what your father says" line, but it's heartbreaking to see him react the way he does. We're working on this all the time and we make advances but then something else happens. I think a lot of it is him, and I think he thinks I'm being too lenient. </p><p> </p><p>I'm going to get the Love & Logic book today after work and see if he'll read that one. I told him about it yesterday and he didn't even react, so we'll see. </p><p> </p><p>He's a SAHD because he wants to work for himself and I make way more money than he can ever. College vs HS dropout. He does make a little money, but it's very little. He is a distributor for an herbal suppliment company and seems to have picked up some business lately, and I can see his self esteem improve a little on that front, but I know so many things he says he'll acomplish with work are empty promises. All I can do is keep encouraging him. Eris' school has mandatory parent involvement (why we picked it), about 8 hours a month you are at school. It really helps to have other parents in the classroom so the teacher can do her job. It's more important for him to spend that time at school than get a 9-5 job (which he'll always refuse to do unless ordered by a court or I kicked him out). I do know a lot of frustration stems from him being around her so much. Summer really fried him and he's trying to destress now that she's been in school a couple weeks.</p><p> </p><p>So I guess the next step is the Love & Logic book and we'll go from there. We did have a constructive conversation yesterday about going to Faire. It's like a family to us, and there are lots of people who will spend time with her so we can get an hour to ourselves here and there. She loves camping and is really excited to go (this morning asked if there would be fire dancers, nope, not this time). I also told him I'd put her to bed and stay with her and he could go play with his friends. He also cleaned her room yesterday instead of yelling at her over and over to do it. That is a huge deal with him. </p><p> </p><p>I keep hearing him say "she's doing this on purpose" or "she's being defiant" whenever I tell him she just doesn't understand or doesn't realize what's going on. Will this ever sink in?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="allhaileris, post: 191388, member: 5663"] Yes, husband is her father. Yes, she has sensory issues (just recently figured that out because I have a friend who's daughter has Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) and realized Eris is the opposite, sensory seeker). I have insurance, the medical community here kind of *****, but mostly I just need to get through some personal stuff first before starting another battle getting her evaluated. Probably in a couple months. With disipline we're having a hard time agreeing. Often I just do the "do what your father says" line, but it's heartbreaking to see him react the way he does. We're working on this all the time and we make advances but then something else happens. I think a lot of it is him, and I think he thinks I'm being too lenient. I'm going to get the Love & Logic book today after work and see if he'll read that one. I told him about it yesterday and he didn't even react, so we'll see. He's a SAHD because he wants to work for himself and I make way more money than he can ever. College vs HS dropout. He does make a little money, but it's very little. He is a distributor for an herbal suppliment company and seems to have picked up some business lately, and I can see his self esteem improve a little on that front, but I know so many things he says he'll acomplish with work are empty promises. All I can do is keep encouraging him. Eris' school has mandatory parent involvement (why we picked it), about 8 hours a month you are at school. It really helps to have other parents in the classroom so the teacher can do her job. It's more important for him to spend that time at school than get a 9-5 job (which he'll always refuse to do unless ordered by a court or I kicked him out). I do know a lot of frustration stems from him being around her so much. Summer really fried him and he's trying to destress now that she's been in school a couple weeks. So I guess the next step is the Love & Logic book and we'll go from there. We did have a constructive conversation yesterday about going to Faire. It's like a family to us, and there are lots of people who will spend time with her so we can get an hour to ourselves here and there. She loves camping and is really excited to go (this morning asked if there would be fire dancers, nope, not this time). I also told him I'd put her to bed and stay with her and he could go play with his friends. He also cleaned her room yesterday instead of yelling at her over and over to do it. That is a huge deal with him. I keep hearing him say "she's doing this on purpose" or "she's being defiant" whenever I tell him she just doesn't understand or doesn't realize what's going on. Will this ever sink in? [/QUOTE]
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How do I get husband to stop being so agro around daughter?
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