Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
How Do I Help Her Detach?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 376940" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I'm coming late to this, Susie.</p><p></p><p>My advice - the world is full of people like this, as well as also full of decent people who will make an effort and be honest. When you get hurt by someone like this for the first time when you're 30, it's a lot more difficult to deal with than when you're 15. The sooner Jessie learns tis lesson (it's not her, it's M) the better off she will be long-term and the better armed against tis sort of inconsistency. And if she learns this wile young, she will remember to never be like M herself.</p><p></p><p>It's possible that M calls gfgbro more often because he is much more 'needy' than you, and she seems to me to be the sort of person who needs to be needed. When you're self-sufficient and capable, she doesn't feel you need her as much as others do.</p><p></p><p>As for the phones only working in one direction - sadly, that is the case for too many people. Sis-in-law is like this at the moment. She used to have an arrangement with her mother (mother in law) that they would ring one another every Friday evening, taking turns. One week mother in law would call; the nest, sis-on-law would call. Sis-in-law has plenty of money, but she recently left her job. I suspect (due to the time difference) tat she used to ring mother in law from work towards the end of her working day (so work footed the phone bill for the cross-continent call). But now mother in law calls every week. Sis-in-law never calls. Well, rarely. When she does call, she gets off the phone quickly. But if it's someone else's nickel, sis-in-law will chat for hours.</p><p></p><p>I have friends who are a bit like this - I will ring, leave a message if they're out, then call back a few days later. "I was just about to ring you!" I will hear, but 9 times out of 10, I'm the one calling. I'm finding that with people like this, only the ones I feel are worth pursuing as friends, am I still in touch with. With others, I just let it drift because frankly, I need some reason to stay close friends with people and some reciprocation in some way is needed; otherwise it's not two-way and therefore not truly friendship.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 376940, member: 1991"] I'm coming late to this, Susie. My advice - the world is full of people like this, as well as also full of decent people who will make an effort and be honest. When you get hurt by someone like this for the first time when you're 30, it's a lot more difficult to deal with than when you're 15. The sooner Jessie learns tis lesson (it's not her, it's M) the better off she will be long-term and the better armed against tis sort of inconsistency. And if she learns this wile young, she will remember to never be like M herself. It's possible that M calls gfgbro more often because he is much more 'needy' than you, and she seems to me to be the sort of person who needs to be needed. When you're self-sufficient and capable, she doesn't feel you need her as much as others do. As for the phones only working in one direction - sadly, that is the case for too many people. Sis-in-law is like this at the moment. She used to have an arrangement with her mother (mother in law) that they would ring one another every Friday evening, taking turns. One week mother in law would call; the nest, sis-on-law would call. Sis-in-law has plenty of money, but she recently left her job. I suspect (due to the time difference) tat she used to ring mother in law from work towards the end of her working day (so work footed the phone bill for the cross-continent call). But now mother in law calls every week. Sis-in-law never calls. Well, rarely. When she does call, she gets off the phone quickly. But if it's someone else's nickel, sis-in-law will chat for hours. I have friends who are a bit like this - I will ring, leave a message if they're out, then call back a few days later. "I was just about to ring you!" I will hear, but 9 times out of 10, I'm the one calling. I'm finding that with people like this, only the ones I feel are worth pursuing as friends, am I still in touch with. With others, I just let it drift because frankly, I need some reason to stay close friends with people and some reciprocation in some way is needed; otherwise it's not two-way and therefore not truly friendship. Marg [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
How Do I Help Her Detach?
Top