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How do I parent?
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<blockquote data-quote="worried mom" data-source="post: 660334" data-attributes="member: 19019"><p>Just an update. First, thanks for the insight. It is hell living with our son. Your thoughts and ideas are very helpful in leading us to some tough love. I believe that we will ultimately need to kick our son out.</p><p></p><p>He has a job - min wage in grocery store - part time, but a job. Leading up to the job, he thought that he might need to take a drug test. For a week, he abstained from pot, worked out a ton, better sleep habits and, after a few days without pot, was pretty decent to be around.</p><p></p><p>The drug test was a mouth swab - 3 day lookback - so he passed. On the schedule for 4 days this week. </p><p></p><p>Since passing the drug test, he boomeranged into a lot of pot smoking. We have been flushing pot and tossing devices he smokes with regularly. We don't get a night's sleep since he stays up every night smoking then eating. </p><p></p><p>Yesterday he went to session with new therapist. He came home totally stoned and went to work. My husband stopped by work and found his pot in his car - took and flushed.</p><p></p><p>He came home from work and asked us if we took a lighter out of his car. He then proceeded to tear his glove box out, finally admitting that's where his pot was. Neither of us said a word.</p><p></p><p>Flash forward to 4:30 am - we hear music from our rec room. He is dancing to rap and drunk. I guess he was out after we went to bed. Wtf.</p><p></p><p>I told him earlier in the day that he pays for his phone and car insurance from 1st pay check and Aug 1st must begin paying $500 per month for phone, insurance, car payment and rent. I said that if he doesn't like it, he is free to leave.</p><p></p><p>He was prescribed an anti depressant which he takes about half the time. </p><p></p><p>I just don't know how to live with this. The stress is killing us. I emailed the counselor to fill him in on our son's antics. </p><p></p><p>Do I ignore him? I hate the person he is when he smokes. Do we keep playing this cat n mouse game?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="worried mom, post: 660334, member: 19019"] Just an update. First, thanks for the insight. It is hell living with our son. Your thoughts and ideas are very helpful in leading us to some tough love. I believe that we will ultimately need to kick our son out. He has a job - min wage in grocery store - part time, but a job. Leading up to the job, he thought that he might need to take a drug test. For a week, he abstained from pot, worked out a ton, better sleep habits and, after a few days without pot, was pretty decent to be around. The drug test was a mouth swab - 3 day lookback - so he passed. On the schedule for 4 days this week. Since passing the drug test, he boomeranged into a lot of pot smoking. We have been flushing pot and tossing devices he smokes with regularly. We don't get a night's sleep since he stays up every night smoking then eating. Yesterday he went to session with new therapist. He came home totally stoned and went to work. My husband stopped by work and found his pot in his car - took and flushed. He came home from work and asked us if we took a lighter out of his car. He then proceeded to tear his glove box out, finally admitting that's where his pot was. Neither of us said a word. Flash forward to 4:30 am - we hear music from our rec room. He is dancing to rap and drunk. I guess he was out after we went to bed. Wtf. I told him earlier in the day that he pays for his phone and car insurance from 1st pay check and Aug 1st must begin paying $500 per month for phone, insurance, car payment and rent. I said that if he doesn't like it, he is free to leave. He was prescribed an anti depressant which he takes about half the time. I just don't know how to live with this. The stress is killing us. I emailed the counselor to fill him in on our son's antics. Do I ignore him? I hate the person he is when he smokes. Do we keep playing this cat n mouse game? [/QUOTE]
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