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How do I prove difficult child is emotionally abusing me
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 101475" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Hi and Welcome, </p><p></p><p>I would like to offer you some perspective (another) view. My son used to do the name calling, I hate you's, and when I would tell people his STANDARD answer would be to look at the psychologist and say "See? See what I have to put up with, no wonder I'm here talking to you." or "She's lying - Mom you KNOW I didn't say it that way." and my favorite "YOU ALWAYS blow things so far out of proportion THIS IS EXACTLY WHY we do NOT get along." </p><p></p><p>So to prove my point - I got a little hand held pocket tape recorder and when the words were flying I recorded it and took it with us to the meetings with the psychiatric. I did NOT let difficult child know I had recorded him, I did NOT let the psychiatric. confront difficult child about it. It was for MY satisfaction to lay a foundation of trust with a psychiatric. </p><p></p><p>Later on when difficult child started testing the waters for being physically abusive I set up a cam-corder and recorded the entire meltdown. You would think - that showing that to him when he was calm would help, or at least show him he was a major jerk. BUT (here's where my odd perspective comes in) </p><p></p><p>HE looked dead at the tape SAW himself grab a bow and arrow, shoot the arrow at my chest, went past me hit the wall where the cam-corder was and DENIED that it was him - he swore to GOD on a stack of bibles we had the tape doctored. He kept screaming THAT IS NOT ME - and he BELIEVED it. </p><p></p><p>I would tell you at this point that from PTSD at this point my son was so out of touch with reality that we didn't question that he truly believed it was someone else. I guess that is when we knew for sure he was in bigger need of larger help. At that point I think we had him on Adderal, Clonodine and Welbutrin. None of which would have made put him in a disassociative state. Kinda like when you have those mind leaving the body dreams. Due to his trauma he was there a lot to escape reality. </p><p></p><p>One thing I KNOW FOR SURE as SURE as I have survived this child to date - if you and hubby don't show him a united front - you will NEVER EVER win this battle in your home. These kids LIVE to divide and conquer. At 4 years old - my son wanted ice cream. So he came to me and asked - I said fine with me if it's okay with your dad. He said I was Daddy's idea So we both got in the car and were almost to the Dairy Queen before we figured out that we had been bamboozled by a manipulative 4 year old. </p><p></p><p>Explain this to your hubby and the next time that your son says awful things - maybe ask your hubby to stand in the hall and listen - then have him walk around the corner for shock value and tell your son that THIS behavior will not continue, that you are his wife, he loves you and respects you and HE doesn't treat you like that and he never wants to hear those words coming out of his mouth EVER again - or there will be severe consequences. </p><p>(My DF used pushups and difficult child HATED them) </p><p></p><p>Hope this helps - but seriously talk to your hubby about getting on the same page with you and show difficult child you are TOGETHER - it's a great start. Besides you're going to need to tag team each other if you are going to survive this. </p><p></p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 101475, member: 4964"] Hi and Welcome, I would like to offer you some perspective (another) view. My son used to do the name calling, I hate you's, and when I would tell people his STANDARD answer would be to look at the psychologist and say "See? See what I have to put up with, no wonder I'm here talking to you." or "She's lying - Mom you KNOW I didn't say it that way." and my favorite "YOU ALWAYS blow things so far out of proportion THIS IS EXACTLY WHY we do NOT get along." So to prove my point - I got a little hand held pocket tape recorder and when the words were flying I recorded it and took it with us to the meetings with the psychiatric. I did NOT let difficult child know I had recorded him, I did NOT let the psychiatric. confront difficult child about it. It was for MY satisfaction to lay a foundation of trust with a psychiatric. Later on when difficult child started testing the waters for being physically abusive I set up a cam-corder and recorded the entire meltdown. You would think - that showing that to him when he was calm would help, or at least show him he was a major jerk. BUT (here's where my odd perspective comes in) HE looked dead at the tape SAW himself grab a bow and arrow, shoot the arrow at my chest, went past me hit the wall where the cam-corder was and DENIED that it was him - he swore to GOD on a stack of bibles we had the tape doctored. He kept screaming THAT IS NOT ME - and he BELIEVED it. I would tell you at this point that from PTSD at this point my son was so out of touch with reality that we didn't question that he truly believed it was someone else. I guess that is when we knew for sure he was in bigger need of larger help. At that point I think we had him on Adderal, Clonodine and Welbutrin. None of which would have made put him in a disassociative state. Kinda like when you have those mind leaving the body dreams. Due to his trauma he was there a lot to escape reality. One thing I KNOW FOR SURE as SURE as I have survived this child to date - if you and hubby don't show him a united front - you will NEVER EVER win this battle in your home. These kids LIVE to divide and conquer. At 4 years old - my son wanted ice cream. So he came to me and asked - I said fine with me if it's okay with your dad. He said I was Daddy's idea So we both got in the car and were almost to the Dairy Queen before we figured out that we had been bamboozled by a manipulative 4 year old. Explain this to your hubby and the next time that your son says awful things - maybe ask your hubby to stand in the hall and listen - then have him walk around the corner for shock value and tell your son that THIS behavior will not continue, that you are his wife, he loves you and respects you and HE doesn't treat you like that and he never wants to hear those words coming out of his mouth EVER again - or there will be severe consequences. (My DF used pushups and difficult child HATED them) Hope this helps - but seriously talk to your hubby about getting on the same page with you and show difficult child you are TOGETHER - it's a great start. Besides you're going to need to tag team each other if you are going to survive this. Star [/QUOTE]
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