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Substance Abuse
How do parents deal with the pain?
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 677741" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Hi Tia, so very sorry for your heartache and need to be here. Welcome to the forum. 17 is a hard age, so close to becoming a legal adult, but still so immature.</p><p>You are doing the right thing. Your daughter is upset, but rest assured, it is the right thing. She is in the best environment to get help. If she remained at home, she probably would have just continued whatever she is experimenting with.</p><p></p><p>Kids will claim "just pot" because it seems more acceptable. <em>It is likely more than that. </em></p><p></p><p>I was a wild child of the 70's I would have never told my parents the real story. Somehow, by the grace of God, I got tired of the partying and stopped around 18. Today's drugs are more addictive and dangerous. You have already intervened by calling the police. That was a good move. She is being assessed by the hospital, that may give you a clue of underlying issues, but if she has been using heavier stuff, drug use can mimic mental illnesses.</p><p>Be aware, I went to a therapist at 16, I was able to fool her. If your daughter wants to continue using, she will. In which case, as Somewhere said, there is nothing you can do. It sounds harsh, but true.</p><p>The article she mentioned is very good, it will help you to not go down the road of enabling. I went that route, desperately trying to rescue my two, since your daughters age, I think I just prolonged things for us and <em>them. I wish I knew then what I know now, that "helping" is not helping.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p>You are here, posting, and you will find a lot of ideas from folks who have been down a similar road, but are on different places on this journey. We share our stories and offer suggestions, it is your decision and there is no judgement here. We try to encourage one another. Keep posting, it really helps to vent and get different perspectives.</p><p></p><p>The loving detachment article is good, a group program like al anon, books on addiction, all of these are good things to bolster your strength.</p><p></p><p>As parents we need to do this, it is a difficult journey and we need to work hard at doing the best thing for our d cs, and us.</p><p></p><p>The intervention will only work, if your daughter agrees. I hope that she does.</p><p></p><p>If she doesn't agree to get help, then the best thing to do is the last thing we want to do, and that is, <em>let</em> <em>go. </em></p><p></p><p>No one can force an addict to be stop using.</p><p></p><p>Prayers for her cooperation.</p><p></p><p>Build yourselves up with information on how to parent these kids.</p><p></p><p>One book that is highly recommended by a poster here is " Don't Let Your Kids Kill You."</p><p></p><p>It is a difficult journey to be on, one thing I have learned is that I became way too wrapped up in the craziness of it. You are in a good place here, Tia others will come along and share their story or ideas with you.</p><p>Stay with us, it helps and we care.</p><p>(((Hugs)))</p><p>leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 677741, member: 19522"] Hi Tia, so very sorry for your heartache and need to be here. Welcome to the forum. 17 is a hard age, so close to becoming a legal adult, but still so immature. You are doing the right thing. Your daughter is upset, but rest assured, it is the right thing. She is in the best environment to get help. If she remained at home, she probably would have just continued whatever she is experimenting with. Kids will claim "just pot" because it seems more acceptable. [I]It is likely more than that. [/I] I was a wild child of the 70's I would have never told my parents the real story. Somehow, by the grace of God, I got tired of the partying and stopped around 18. Today's drugs are more addictive and dangerous. You have already intervened by calling the police. That was a good move. She is being assessed by the hospital, that may give you a clue of underlying issues, but if she has been using heavier stuff, drug use can mimic mental illnesses. Be aware, I went to a therapist at 16, I was able to fool her. If your daughter wants to continue using, she will. In which case, as Somewhere said, there is nothing you can do. It sounds harsh, but true. The article she mentioned is very good, it will help you to not go down the road of enabling. I went that route, desperately trying to rescue my two, since your daughters age, I think I just prolonged things for us and [I]them. I wish I knew then what I know now, that "helping" is not helping. [/I] You are here, posting, and you will find a lot of ideas from folks who have been down a similar road, but are on different places on this journey. We share our stories and offer suggestions, it is your decision and there is no judgement here. We try to encourage one another. Keep posting, it really helps to vent and get different perspectives. The loving detachment article is good, a group program like al anon, books on addiction, all of these are good things to bolster your strength. As parents we need to do this, it is a difficult journey and we need to work hard at doing the best thing for our d cs, and us. The intervention will only work, if your daughter agrees. I hope that she does. If she doesn't agree to get help, then the best thing to do is the last thing we want to do, and that is, [I]let[/I] [I]go. [/I] No one can force an addict to be stop using. Prayers for her cooperation. Build yourselves up with information on how to parent these kids. One book that is highly recommended by a poster here is " Don't Let Your Kids Kill You." It is a difficult journey to be on, one thing I have learned is that I became way too wrapped up in the craziness of it. You are in a good place here, Tia others will come along and share their story or ideas with you. Stay with us, it helps and we care. (((Hugs))) leafy [/QUOTE]
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