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Substance Abuse
How do parents deal with the pain?
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 678763" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>This was a beautiful and very wise post, Cedar.</p><p></p><p>I think we forget how vulnerable we were to the extent that we still are. That certainty we seem to want to project <em>in our posting to others is a marker of how vulnerable we still are in ourselves. </em></p><p><em></em></p><p>The vulnerability is both a weakness and a strength.</p><p></p><p>Each time we post the steps for others to take, we are remembering for ourselves. Lest we forget, lest we doubt. We do this because the doubt is always there. The self-doubt.</p><p></p><p>There comes a time when the self-doubt comes to have another name. Flexibility.</p><p></p><p>I am seeing this more and more clearly. Certainty seems to mask and compensate for its opposite.</p><p></p><p>I needed to believe in somebody else, at first when I came here, because I did not believe anymore in myself. In my own ability to see and respond to a situation, I had lost my faith. I am still piecing together the whys and how comes.</p><p></p><p>I decided to believe one voice here on CD. On faith. It was your voice, Cedar. I believed you because I trusted you. I needed to. Nobody else knew anything in my life that seemed to work. I trusted that you did. I trusted you because you did not know anymore than I did. But you had risked from that place. Because of your love. And infinite hope.</p><p></p><p>I relied on your ability to risk with your own children, not having anywhere else to go. I relied on your integrity and I have never stopped doing so.</p><p></p><p>It was not upopn your certainty that I relied. It was on its opposite. The courage to try something that you did not know, based upon your integrity, your belief in your children and your absolute commitment to doing and trying whatever it took. I had the courage to take that risk too.</p><p></p><p>I am affected today by another thread currently active about the death of a mother.</p><p></p><p>That is what is at stake here. It is life and death. I remain absolutely stunned that such a place exists as this. Even if only in our hearts. Imagine that. It is only virtual.</p><p></p><p>That piece of things still frightens me, that we exist for each other only virtually. I am not a techie, so I do not exactly know what it means to exist virtually. Do we dream each other? If that mother, KLMNO, who lost her son had had in her real life people who understood, as did each of you, could she have lived? Or was the trauma of her loss of such a great magnitude that there was no coming back from it?</p><p></p><p>This is the work of this virtual place. It chills me to acknowledge to myself that each of our traumas is on that very same continuum.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 678763, member: 18958"] This was a beautiful and very wise post, Cedar. I think we forget how vulnerable we were to the extent that we still are. That certainty we seem to want to project [I]in our posting to others is a marker of how vulnerable we still are in ourselves. [/I] The vulnerability is both a weakness and a strength. Each time we post the steps for others to take, we are remembering for ourselves. Lest we forget, lest we doubt. We do this because the doubt is always there. The self-doubt. There comes a time when the self-doubt comes to have another name. Flexibility. I am seeing this more and more clearly. Certainty seems to mask and compensate for its opposite. I needed to believe in somebody else, at first when I came here, because I did not believe anymore in myself. In my own ability to see and respond to a situation, I had lost my faith. I am still piecing together the whys and how comes. I decided to believe one voice here on CD. On faith. It was your voice, Cedar. I believed you because I trusted you. I needed to. Nobody else knew anything in my life that seemed to work. I trusted that you did. I trusted you because you did not know anymore than I did. But you had risked from that place. Because of your love. And infinite hope. I relied on your ability to risk with your own children, not having anywhere else to go. I relied on your integrity and I have never stopped doing so. It was not upopn your certainty that I relied. It was on its opposite. The courage to try something that you did not know, based upon your integrity, your belief in your children and your absolute commitment to doing and trying whatever it took. I had the courage to take that risk too. I am affected today by another thread currently active about the death of a mother. That is what is at stake here. It is life and death. I remain absolutely stunned that such a place exists as this. Even if only in our hearts. Imagine that. It is only virtual. That piece of things still frightens me, that we exist for each other only virtually. I am not a techie, so I do not exactly know what it means to exist virtually. Do we dream each other? If that mother, KLMNO, who lost her son had had in her real life people who understood, as did each of you, could she have lived? Or was the trauma of her loss of such a great magnitude that there was no coming back from it? This is the work of this virtual place. It chills me to acknowledge to myself that each of our traumas is on that very same continuum. COPA [/QUOTE]
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